Page 8 Advertisements Column 3

Te Awamutu Courier, Volume 56, Issue 4046, 11 May 1938, Page 8

“I was playing in the Cup final at Wembley. Score, one each, and one minute from time. I was running through the defence, everyone shouting, ‘Shoot! Shoot !’ ” “Did you score?” “Score! It took me ten minutes to get my foot out of the bed-rail.” The electrician was puzzled. “Hey,” he called to his assistant, “put your hand on one of those wires.” The assistant did as he was told. “Feel anything?” “No.” “Good,” said the electrician. “I wasn’t sure which was which. Don’t touch the other or you’ll drop dead.” The Irish policeman on point duty signalled Jones to come on; but just as Jones accelerated another car shot out from a side street and the two collided. The constable came over to Jones. “What’s all this?” he demanded. “I’m sorry,” Jones replied, “but I could have sworn you signalled me to come on.” “Arrah, don’t talk nonsense, man!” he shouted. “Did ye not see me changin’ me mind?”

Faint heart rings recovery’s knell. Keep wishing to still stay alive. There’s health in the will to be well Just will to be well and survive. A cough or a cold cannot kill. Keep wishing and that you’ll assure There’s force in a resolute will And Woods’ Great Peppermint Cure.