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Te Awamutu Courier, Volume 53, Issue 3831, 9 November 1936, Page 6

“Was Lucil’s wedding a swell affair?” “Oh, yes; they even used puffed rice.” Actor (modestly) : As a matter of fact, I have received letters from ladies in almost every place in which I have appeared. Manager: Landladies? He knew all about boats, he cheerily informed the boat-hirer in the Scottish harbour, and promptly proceeded to display his knowledge by taking a seat facing the bow, at the same time proceeding to put the oars in the 'rowlocks. “But you’ll never row a boat like that, man,” the boat-hirer objected. “Ye’re sitting the wrang wey roon.” “That’s all right,” the other reassured him. “I’m left-handed.”

Visitor: Do you keep a copy of every book you publish? Author: Usually hundreds of them. Friend: What a horrible noise comes from that radio set! Radio Fan: Well, I guess you i would make just as bad a noise if | you were coming out of ether.

A married man buttonholed another and imparted some neighbourhood news. “Don’t let this go any further, George,” he said. “No, certainly not!” said the other. “But how did you happen to hear it?” “Oh, from the wife, of course!” was the answer. “She’s just like all women—can’t keep a secret!”

“Well, Bill, how goes things?” “That’s just what I’m trying to find out,” said Bill, looking up from his job of cleaning the henhouse. ‘I bought three hens for our Jimmy. I pay for the food for ’em, mother buys the eggs off Jimmy, and Jimmy eats ’em; and I’m just wondering whether the things pay.”