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Te Awamutu Courier, Volume 53, Issue 3795, 14 August 1936, Page 5

“We must go to Stratford,” an American on a visit to England said to his wife. “What’s the use of that?” she asked. “We can buy Stratford post cards in London.” “My dear, one travels for something more than to send postcards. I want to write my name on Shakespeare’s tomb.”

A famous actor was asked to define an actor. “An actor,” he replied, “is a person who can walk to the side of a stage, peer into the wings at a group of other actors waiting for their cues, a number of bored stage hands, and a lot of theatrical odds and ends, and exclaim, ‘What a lovely view there is from this window I’ ”

A little Scotch boy, having become an uncle at the age of four, was taken to see the new baby. “What’s she saying, Sandy?” asked his sister, as the infant made the usual gurgling noises. Sandy cast a wary and inquiring eye round the room, and then replied: “It sounds like ‘Gie Sandy an apple.’ ”