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Te Awamutu Courier, Volume 52, Issue 3771, 19 June 1936, Page 5

Vicar: Have you done anything ioday to make somebody else pleased? Eric: Yes, I licked Jack Smith. Vicar: But that did not please anybody. Eric: You should have heard his little brother laugh! Buzzard: I am going away for a fortnight. Can my neighbour draw my pension?” Sub-postmaster: No, madam, but you may have a transfer. “I don’t want to go to that trouble.” “Well, you may have the arrears when you get back.” “Yes, I know that, but if I die I I shall not get the back money. I have had that experience before.” “Why didn’t you deliver up that diamond ring to the lost property office?” “There was no need.” “Why not?” “When I looked inside the ring it said ‘thine for ever’.” An actor who was not so well known as he thought he was received an offer of a part in a new London show. Being on tour at the time, he replied by telegram:— “<Vill accept double what you offer. Otherwise count me out.” Next day he received a telegram which read:— “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, OUT!”