CAMP HUMOR

Te Aroha News, Volume XXXIV, Issue 5501, 18 June 1917, Page 1

CAMP HUMOR

A platoon of troops, exercising on the parade grounds in common with other squads and platoons, caught the eye of an instructor. They appeared to be a little out in their work, and he rode over and spoke to the platoon commander.

“What are you doing?” he asked. "I’m doing some exercise in extended order,” began the subaltern. “Ah! And w : hat are they doing?’’ was the next question. Steadiness in the ranks is a soldierly virtue that is appreciated by instructors, more especially when the troops they have trained are being reviewed by one in high command. In a body of troops w r as one man who could not keep still/ All the reprimands he received merely made him steady for a few moments. Then his hand shifted on his rifle, he moved his eyes or shifted his weight on to one foot. On the eye of a review the instructor told the men to stand steady and see how steady they could be. Then he walked down the line, examined each man with fierce intentness. He found them rigid as statues till he came to the wobbly one. This man moved a little, flickered his eyelashes, twiddled his fingers, and swayed ever so slightly. The instructor fixed him with his eye, and said in tense tones: “You—you—you bloomin’ blanc mange!” A class of n.o.c.’s had been taken out to do trench work. An old trench was to be enlarged and squads of men were allotted to each bay of trench to begin widening it from the top. Most of them worked with their picks in a line with the trench. But one, more enthusiastic and original began picking with his back to the trench, moving a few inches backward with each stroke. Suddenly he disappeared into the trench, leaving his pick on the top. He was not hurt and while he sorted himself out below he heard his neighbour say: “Where’s Bill?”

And the reply: “Oh, he’s just gone down to see how the spuds are growing!”