From The Watch Tower

Sun (Auckland), Volume IV, Issue 994, 10 June 1930, Page 8

From The Watch Tower

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

A SUCCESSORf A list of possible successors to Mussolini is being prepared for submission to the King of Italy “in case it is needed.” Although the great Benito Mussolini Is far removed from ordinary clay, (A full-of-bustle, wonder-working genii "Who grows a little bigger every day); Although his cheering Blackshirts number legions And, at the merest shadow of excuse. His rivals fly to anti-Pascist regions. There must be something worrying II Buce. Else, why should he, a man of iron fettle, Be seeking out a regent for his place; One gifted with the necessary mettle To multiply portfolios with grace? Perhaps Italia wants a gentler lover And he has seen the writing on the wall; In any case, it’s pleasing to discover That Benito is human after all. M.E. ... CHICKENS AND BEES A “For Sale” advertisement informs us that someone wishes to dispose of: “Incubator and brooder also twin pram; cheap.” Here is a golden opportunity for the embryonic poultrykeeper to equip himself thoroughly at a low initial cost. It is to be noted that, In the event of the incubator and brooder proving even more successful than the vendor anticipates, room may be found in the pram for three or even more chickens. Perhaps a sale may be arranged with the same dear old lady who decided that she would keep bees. Calling her gardener, she issued instructions and concluded by saying: “Remember, Jenkins, this is an experiment, so purchase a pair to begin with.” REFEREE’S RISKS Even the most experienced followers of Rugby football are unable to recall an incident paralleling that which, occurred at Otako on Saturday. On previous occasions (it is to the credit of New Zealand that they have been few and far between) players have abused and even struck referees, but never before has the man with the whistle been knocked unconscious by an irresponsible lout in the guise of a player. Disqualification for life almost Invariably has been the penalty, and there is little doubt that it will be so in the present case. After reading of the Otako incident one’s mind turns automatically to Australia, parts of which bear a rather unenviable football reputation. There have been occasions, in fact, when police escorts have struggled grimly to save a referee from the mob, and times when the potential victim lias escaped mutilation only by entering his dressingroom through a wire-netting enclosure. The wonder is that there can be found men who are willing to take the risk. ... RIVAL GTA.NTS Piqued at the assertion in this column that the United States Shipping Board’s ex-German liner Leviathan is the largest vessel afloat, a patriot points out that the White Star’s giant Majestic is entitled to that distinction. The position is that, according to the American method of computation, the Leviathan’s tonnage is 59,957, but British measu vents set her down at 54,282 as age c the Majestic’s 56,621 tons. Furi-J ermore, it is known definitely that the Leviathan is eight feet shorter than the Majestic which, measured by the American formula, would be 61,266 tons. In the light of these figures and because he is also a good patriot the L.O.M. is delighted to transfer the palm across the Atlantic. It is refreshing to learn that the United States cannot lay just claim to “the biggest” of everything. NOUNS OF ASSEMBLY Saturday’s suggestion that the published list of “nouns of assembly” might be extended by nimble-minded readers has produced a healthy little crop of examples. Here are a few of them: A chuckle of babies. A blockage of cyclists. A straddle of pillion-riders. An eyesore of petrol-pumps. A hesitation of pedestrians. An obstinacy of lady-drivers! A grapple of wrestlers. Perhaps there are other enthusiasts who can swell the list. OUTSIZE HANDS P.D.: Your paragraph referring to the American newspaper's reproduction of Camera's giant hands and feet remind me of the naive irresponsibility of an Australian newspaper man (an ex-Aucklander), who was in charge of the pictorial department of a Melbourne daily. A boxer of considerable dimensions came to town and the editor decided to reproduce an “actual size” photograph of one of the big man’s hands on the front page of his tabloid journal. The following morning a colleague opened his paper and noted with satisfaction the effectiveness of the large hand spread over the page. Arriving at the office he congratulated the pictorial editor on his luck in having a page small enough to accommodate the hand neatly. “Oh, .that was easy,” said the editor. “I just enlarged up the hand until it fitted the page.”