“The Other Woman” Often a Phantom Figure

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 886, 1 February 1930, Page 22

“The Other Woman” Often a Phantom Figure

OR years the Other 'Woman has been ■JW|'jry!- branded as an interleper, a dangerous and unscrupulous female, and the bete noire of at any a wife. Painted as a siren who, ny her en icements and her lack of a sense of elhics, lures the kind husband and father from his fireside, she has been bequeathed to posterity as anything but a likable figure. Now the Other Woman stands revealed as merely the catspaw of th 3 neurotic wife who, building up a defence reaction for her failure to hold her husband, must have a third point to fit the triangle. Unwilling to admit her own faults and shortcomings, the neurotic wife seeks an excuse. The Other Woman supplies it. But, exposed ny modern psycho-analysis as simply the chimera of a neurotic Imagination, the Other Woman now fades out and takes her place with outcast bugaboos and mythical creatures which have never existed. This revelation regarding the till id point of tte triangle, which has been held responsible for so many domestic tragedies, is but one of many made by William S. Sadler, M.D., Director of the Chicago Institute of Research and Diagnosis. In the practice of his profession Ur. Sadler comes in contact with many men and women who exhibit some phase of abnormal psychology. As a result of his lifetime’s experiences in the Held af mental hygiene, lie is able to clarify many problems having to do with our minds which border upon and overlap the subconscious. "Undoubtedly half of the modern world is neurotic." saj-s Dr. Sadler. “Our mania for speed onuses our neurotic tendencies, which, would otherwise remain dormant, to show up. 1 do not think that from the standpoint of evolution the race is deteriorating. Our strenuous way of living is to blame. Social and industrial civilisation has accomplished more in 100 years than In all the past history of the race- This unnatural acceleration' has created a gulf between the upper mind and the lower, deep, biological mind. “Only about 15 per cent, of the people that are born are naturally adapted to the strain and stress of civilisation. The other 85 per cent, must try to bridge this gulf between the conscious and subconscious minds in order not to develop nervous symptoms, have a general blow-up and crash under the pressure. “Neurotics’ minds work on the nursery schetlule. Subconsciously they remember that, as babies, all they liad to do was to jell ‘Wa-ah-ah’ to get what they wanted. So these adult infants yell ‘Wall’ now instead of facing the struggle. A child at a very early age learns that it can get what it wants b>’ crj'ing, so it cries. The way to nip the neuroses in children is to teach them that they will accomplish nothing by howling. Neurotic

Neurotic Wives, Building Up Defence Reaction For Failure To Hold Their Husbands Often Imagine They Have “ Deadly Rivals” . . . These Sirens are Frequently Just a Creation of a Discontent’s Imagination. tendencies are formed in the nursery. The adult neurotic’s method is analagous to the nursery method and the time to have cured this condition was back in babj'hood, Instead of waiting for a nerve specialist to do it later in life. “Men and women who do not care to compete in the arena of life nevertheless crave distinction. So, instead of earning a reputation, they throw a fit and hope to focus attention on themselves in this fashion. It is a dishonest way of gaining honours without deserving them. The whole group of neuroses are defence reactions, the cowardlj- way to save the neurotics from blame for refusing to face the 'gaff of living.' “We must all draw upon our subconscious mind for help in these strenuous times. We cannot wait for the slow process of evolution. Life has gone forward at too terrific and unnatural a speed. We have interfered with Nature’s process, and this has enabled the race to plunge ahead at such a pace. We must tow reach back into the racial mind for muchneeded help. We must prod the sleep-

ing giant—our subconscious mind — into constructive action and also develop self-mastery. The biological or subconscious mind does not believe in work. This natural mind of ours is ready to play, perpetrate mischief, hunt, go to football games—but not to work! But it must be taught to work and to face the demands of civilisation instead of shirking. We must go into training and develop an understanding of the subconscious mind, self-understanding and selfdiscipline. “But until we accomplish selfmaster y and draw on that great reservoir, th 3 subconscious miud, we will go on resisting the strain of modern civilisation by a dishonest method — the nervous breakdown. So, first of all, in treating neurotics we must teach them to face their subconscious mind and to be sincere. We must show them how to train themselves to face facts, to stop running away from reality. In this way the neurotic woman who, because of her own failings, loses her husband to another woman must be taught that her home has been wrecked by herself, not the Other Woman. “Here is an instance of mischiefmaking on the part of the subconscious miud:

“A woman felt that her husband was neglecting her. It made her suspicious and unliappj’. As a matter of fact, the man was busy. But it was also- true that he did not carry the spirit of romance into his marriage. So the wife continued to be unhappy. After nine years her mother died. This gave her the defence excuse and she had a nervous breakdown. Her two young children and her husband became very attentive, and there was a trained nurse dii the job. The patient was in tne limelight in her home. Weeks passed. But the woman grew o better. In fact, her condition became worse. One day she made a significant statement: — “ ‘Doctor,’ she said, ‘this nervous breakdown has been awful, but. considering the wonderful devotion of my family, it has been well worth it.’ “After six months elapsed and she still failed to recover, she became worried. She sent for me. “ ‘Am I ever going to get well, doctor?’ she asked. Whereupon I replied : “ ‘Yes, you are, just as soon as you make up your mind to and decide that you have had enough of this.’ “She was angry at my reply and expressed a desire to be alone. After 4S hours she summoned me and asked pointedly: ‘What did you mean by what you said to me the other day?’ “I gave her an explanation of her condition, pointing out that it was merely a subterfuge on the part of her subconscious mind, that she craved excessive attention from her family, and took this easiest, way to get it, even at their expe'nse. She was amazed at this and at first refused to believe me. She wept and doubtless thought that I was most unsympathetic. Not long afterward fishe sent for me again. “‘l’ve thought over all you said and perhaps you are right. It all sounds very strange to me, but I am going to try to get well. Please help me.’ This woman, who was the victim of her own suhconscicfus mind, was at first so weak from having been bedridden so long that she had to be taught to walk. She could not stand on her feet. After three mouths’ training she had successfully unmasked her subconscious mind and was well ou the way to complete recovery. That woman will never stage another breakdown in order to get what she wants in the easiest and quickest way. “Humour is the most important antidote in this whole business of neuroses. It is the most effective remedy to employ, pending the golden era of self-realisation. The human race in its present state of evolution is ruled by its heart, not it's head, and there is no use reasoning with an emotion. You can only ridicule it.”