Heart and Home Chats

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 671, 24 May 1929, Page 5

Heart and Home Chats

By

Anne Rutledge

Which man do you think I shall be nappy with? THE GIRL IN THE CASE.

letter it. Hr h-atledyo will answer letters in this column every Thurs- \ nay An accomplished writer, an ardent feminist, a student of human nature and a wide traveller she is vjCol fitted for the task. Those *°h,o have problems and lack a confidante to help in their solution mai/, -with confidence write to Miss Rutledge, whose knowledge will be placed at their disposal. A sympathetic woman, she will assist those who stand tn need of assistonce Communications for Miss Rutledge should be addressed to THE SUN office. “A PIECE OF HIS MIND” Dear Miss Rutledge,— : My wife is a good woman, and is very attentive and. careful about my welfare, but she doesn’t care a fig about her personal appearance. Her hair is always ruffled and untidy, her I clothes shabby and dirty, and she is j content to go about the house in slippers from morn till night. This habit of hers is having a careless and detrimental effect on me. too, and l feel embarrassed and j ashamed sometimes when visitors call j or we go out. Tam too fond of my wife to nag and quarrel with her over this, yet something must be done. How can I best effect a cure? HUSBAND. ANSWER The state of affairs in your household is just the accumulated result of loose habits. Brace up! Set an example. Get up bright and early every morning and sit down to breakfast properly dressed. After a few days your wife should gravitate toward your spruce ways. If she doesn’t, drop some pointed hints. You might get quick results if you suggest a shopping expedition and buy her some attractive clothes. Then, when the opportunity presents itself, try to influence your wife to dispose of the garments that so offend the sight. Keep a strict eye on laundry discipline. Set "he right example, Mr. Husband, and stick to it. A slovenly woman is a reproach to herself and to her family, and it would need wonderful virtues to redeem her in the eyes of her family, friends and the world at large. It is amazing that a modern woman, who wants to keep her husband’s love and respect, could behave so foolishly, and it might help matters along if you did give her a piece of your mind occasionally. * ANNE RUTLEDGE. TINKER, TAILOR . . . Dear Miss Rutledge,— I am 22 years old, have been well educated and am considered good looking. I have two men friends and must soon make a decision as to which one is to be ray partner. The first is frank and lovable, has a big heart, and Is not at all blase, like so maijy modern men. But, although his prospects are good, he is really quite poor. He also lacks polish. The- second is a man of good family and social standing. He dresses In excellent taste, but is very wrapped j up in himself and his affairs. He looks to me for sympathy in trifling matters, and does not often become! enthusiastic so far as I am concerned. 1

; ANSWER j Well, if I had to choose, it would be the big-hearted man for me. You can i polish up a man's manners, but it is a | tiring business to “thaw out" a man’s heart. Then, too, it is easier to live, day ; in and day out, with a frank, lovable l person than with one who spends hours l over his toilet, and is always airing his I own trials and tribulations, j Of course it may “build up” a woman’s character if she is constantly called upon for sympathy, but it would tire the mqpt patient Griselda in the long run. The frank, clean type you can usually trust away from home, but the sympathyseeker is of the. wayward species. You say that the first man is poor, but liis prospects are good. Later on, like many other successful men. he may admit that poverty was the best handicap with which to start off on the “race of life.” If you are prepared to build patiently, you can’t beat the cheerful, lovable man for a helpmate. The other man might need “living up to,” and it might take' a girl of rare accomplishments to satisfy his exacting tastes. If you have a doubt in your mind don't make a hurried choice, for you are young yet. AXNE RUTLEDGE. £ S D ! Dear Miss Rutledge,— Shall I be perfectly frank with my fiance regarding my financial position? He is of the opinion that there is money in my family, and that I have a small income of my own. When we first met each other, my friend thought that I belonged to another branch of our family who are quite well to do (my people happen to be on the poorer side) and I have never enlightened him. Now that the date of my wedding is approaching, I am wondering what to do. Will you please advise me how to settle this problem? BRIDE-TO-BE. ANSWER. Most certainly tell your fiance all about your circumstances and lose no time about it. Every man has a right to know, before lie steps into matrimony, the financial standing of his wife. Some men would feel quite important if they were about to marry a girl of means. Other men would scorn such an idea, and prefer to control the family exchequer entirely. Then, too, in these days of female contribution to the upkeep of the household, a husband might be depending upon a wife with a private income to pay her own dress bills. Frankness on both sides might possibly save harsh words and strained relations later on. Although difficult to understand, both men and women deceive one another on this same point, and pretend that they are bettor off than they are. A man marries a girl and counts on her supposedly affluent father for a “lift-uto’’ in the commercial world. Then wheirtlie truth leaks out, and it does pretty quickly, as father-in-law is looking for “lift-ups’ himself, the fat is in-the fire, although the incident might be smoothed over. The same thing applies to the girl who is relying on marriage to provide her with all the little luxuries that she craves. When the truth—that she must screw and scrape to keep up ordinary appearances—strikes home, only a miracle keeps the good ship Matrimony off the rocks. The well-being of either party should i be wrapped up in the other, and if either ! be poor or rich, the truth should be told ! before the knot is tied. Jf true love is the foundation of the union, then be it poverty | or wealth, a couple so united will stand together to the end. ANNE RUTLEDGE.