Heart and Home Chats

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 641, 18 April 1929, Page 5

Heart and Home Chats

By

Anne Rutledge

Misa Ah.ue Rutledge will answer tetters in this column every Thursday. An accomplished writer, an ardent feminist, a student oj human nature and a wide traveller she is well fitted for the task. Those who have problems and tack u confidante to help tn their solution may. with confidence, write to Miss Rutledge, whose knowledge will be placed at their disposal. A sympathetic woman, she will assist those who stand in need of assistance. Communications for Miss Rutledge should be addressed to THE SUN office.

DAD’S ADVICE j Dear Miss Rutledge,— l am a young man, 23 years of age, with a promising future, and want to enjoy life. My father and others are always damping my ardour and taking all the joy out of living by preach ing on thrift and study. Don’t you think that young people should have ! a good time while they have the chance? R.D. .1 ,Y XWEn You have written enough to make it ‘'’j* l YOU are in need of advice, kit st of all, switch your thoughts from the l « n . arr °w, selfish track, and remove the scales from your eyes' Of course it is a good thing for all of us to life, but you will taste real happiness if you Ilian your life sensibly and strive harmoniously to act according: to vour i at ,.\ P . r s advice. Thrift, as well as being a < h.n acter-buildcr, is \'itally necessary to yoiar future well-being:, just as friendships and healthy games keep the play spirit alive in us when old age conics along. You must recognise the importance of planning for the future. Life is an uncharted sea, and if you do not use all your fitness to survive the shoals and treacherous rocks, you may become as driftwood cast hither and thither by the tides. Every week of your life you should put a little money aside, if onlv for your old age; for then it is that your strength .and skill will fall you, and your earning power considerably diminish. Bitter regrets and misery will be your lot if vou have made no provision, for wretched are the poor men and women who must eat the c rust of dependence in another’s house. Often they are forced to realise that they are an encumbrance and unwanted, even in their own children's homes. So, my advice is that you should study and work, save and plan in your youth, so that when the time comes for you to take to an armchair, you will have sufficient. in hand to purchase politeness and courtesy from those around you. Remember, there is a yawning gap between the attentions paid to father with the cheque book, and that paid to father without the wherewithal. AXNE RUTLEDGE.

BOTH TWENTY-THREE

Dear Miss Rutledge,— A man friend and I have been going about together for the past three years, and as we are both the sensible age of 23, X cannot understand why be does not mention marriage to me. My friends share my opinion, and I am perplexed as they suggest that I should give him up. I like him very much, and wonder what I should do? ANXIOUS. ANSWER If you desire marriage you may be wasting time in confining your company to the young man in question. Show your independence and consider yourself free*. Decline invitations sometimes from your friend, and he might appreciate youvalue when he realises that he may lose you. This may lead to a definite step one way or the other. But for goodness' sake don’t spend valuable time worrying about men so much. Live your own life and make yourself independent. Then you will have a better chance one of these days to choose the right partner with whom you can .enjoy a happy mar* ANNE RUTLEDGE.

AN ORPHAN’S PROBLEM

i Dear Miss Rutledge,— I am ail orphan of 22, and I have been friendly with a young man for 15 months. He is two years younger than I, and is studying for a profession. He took me to his home, where I met his people. Soon afterwards we became engaged with his parents’ approval. Two months later I received a letter from my friend asking for his freedom. He wrote that his career, which should prove good as time goes on, came first, and thk he admired 'me very much, but the first burst of affection was past, although he admitted that he was still very fond of me. Naturally I felt upset, especially as we had argued earlier that his small weekly income of £4 was insufficient to marry on. He thought, then, that we might manage. I was willing to continue at business, and his father offered to help. I know that his career should come first, but as he is still fond of me, and there is no other girl in the case, perhaps t should wait for him. I cannot fathom his reason for breaking our engagement, as he knew I was prepared to wait until he was through the university. Do you think that I should write to him now, and ask for his friendship? Hoping you can give me some guidance in this case as I have nobody to appeal to. PUZZLED. A XS IV EK There are times In life when any word is the wrong word, and when silence and silence alone is golden. At present you must keep just such a dignified silence, and be prepared to wait. If your late fiance is at all sincere in his affection and admiration for you, your very silence should compel him to come to you. So do not go out of your way to meet him or his people, but play your trump card—pa tience. The opportunity is sure to come for you to meet, and then (after he has opened the subject) tell him frankly that you are puzzled as to his behaviour, and that naturally the whole affair has upset you very considerably. If you then feel that you still care for him sufficiently, it might be possible to compromise, and still remain friends, but this, of course, would be dangerous ground as you might continue to wait for the young man, only to be treated shabbily again, or worse still, to undergo the misery of an unhappy marriage later on. I can understand how hurt you feel, but try not to worry. Perhaps it is best that the break has come now. for if you are worthy, life holds further opportunities. Do not overlook the. probability that as you progress usefully and helpfully, you may merit and experience enduring happiness. ANNE RUTLEDGE.

HUMOURING HIS RELATIONS

Dear Miss Rutledge,— I am engaged to a young man whose parents do not like me. Although very nice to my face, they say behind my back that I am not good enough for j him. As my fiance is very fond of me j I should like to overcome this dirSi culty, and would be glad of vour ad- | vice. ANXIOUS. m 9 st revolve around the motner in the home I suggest that vou cultivate your intended mother-in-*2* s friendship as much as possible. After aU. very few mothers think that TV. of , tlleir son s choice is really suitable and you will be wise to show this particular lady that she is wrong. To begin with, discuss your Ideas about running a home, and - the different food values with her. If you haven't acquired this knowledge, get busy at once. Don’t allow her to suspect your complete ignorance. The average mother of sons is obsessed with the idea that the modern girl puts pleasure before the welfare of the home, and it might prove quite an undertaking for you to educate vour future mother-in-law to see things'differently. But, once you show a keen interest in home management, you* will find that the good lady will grow to love and appreciate you.

Another thought; try to make vourself indispensable when she is giving any kind of entertainment in her home. This kind of help goes a long way. Be sure to take her some flowers occasionally, and show interest in her new frock or the piece of fancy work that she may be embroidering. You will find that if mother approves, father is sure to follow suit, although it might be wise to find out the particular brand of tobacco he smokes. ANNE RUTLEDGE.

PLUNKET SOCIETY

PAPATOETOE BRANCH ANNUAL MEETING Mrs. .T. J. Valentine, president of the Papatoetoo branch of the Plunket Society, presided over a fair attendance of members at the first annual meeting, held in the Presbyterian Hall, Station Road, Papatoetoe, yesterday afternoon. The president’s report dealt in a comprehensive .manner with the branch’s activities during the past year, and stated that the roll number in June was 20, these had steadily increased until at the present time there were 9S babies attending the rooms. This number was. considered too many for the nurse’s attention during the afternoon allotted, and it was recommended to the incoming committee. that they make application to have the visiting time extended to one whole day a week. The finances of the branch were in credit. Members’ subscriptions accounted for ,C2G 13s l>d of the revenue. Nurse Lewin gave a short but very interesting address on the aims and objects of the Plunket Society, and cited a few interesting cases which had come under her notice from time to time. The election of officers resulted as follows;—Patrons: Drs. J. J. Valentine and A. B. Jameson; president, Mrs. J. J. Valentine: secretary and treasurer, M.rs. R. Kimpton; committee, Mesdames A. Muir. W. J. Nicholson. Price, R. Corbett. IT. C. Ernest. N. Tunnicliffe, Rocker, F. E. Carr, Fowler, J. Kendall, A. G. Fall well. H. Grierson; auditor. Mr. W. J. Nicholson.

HOLY TRINITY SOCIAL CLUB

The large and enthusiastic attendance of members and friends at the opening function of the season of the Otahuhu Holy Trinity Social Club, held in the Public Plall, Otahuhu, on Tuesday evening, augurs well for a very successful season for tne club. Over 100 couples attended, and spent a Say evening dancing to the music of the club’s orchestra, under the leadership of Mrs. F. Andrew. Extras were supplied by Mrs. Rushworth and Miss Marjorie Sell. Mr. J. C. F. Paine, president of the club, extended a hearty welcome to the large gathering, and trusted that the forthcoming season, would be even more successful than the seasons past, if that were possible. A Monte Carlo competition was won by Mr. J. Walker and partner. For the non -dancers, a keenly-contested progressive 500 tournament was held, the ultimate winners of which were Mrs. Baxter and Mr. A. Campbell. The Rev. C. B. W. Seton presented the successful competitors with their trophies. Among those present were: Mrs. AA G. Wood, fawn crepe de chine troeK with relief of orange geoi'gette. Mrs. E. XV. J ones, frock of unrelieved apricot georgette. Mrs. YY. A. Jameson, black ninorr frock with trimmings of lame. Mrs. 1-larland Lovell, frock of eullett blue bengaline. Miss Mollie Walker sky blue taffeta frock, with trimmings of silver lace. Miss Sylvia Bennett, electric blue satin beaute. with lace trimmings. Miss F. Hickson, frock of cyclamen georgette. Mrs. R. G. Hickson, frock of patterned silk georgette. Miss E. Moffat, figured georgette frock and embroidered shawl. Miss F. Davis, shell pink crepe de chine, with relief of lace. Miss D. Kitto. frock of sedge green embossed chenille georgette, finished with silver posy. Miss L. Leece, powder blue marocain frock and hand-painted shawl. Miss V. Panekhurst, frock of pale blue crepe de chine. Miss D. Polglase, frock of rose blush, with ribbon trimmings. Miss K. Boswell, apricot taffeta frock. Miss Vi Baker, frock of green georgette, with trimmings of canary velvet. Miss M. Sauer pink beaded georgette and shawl to tone. Miss G. M oiler, frock of nile green crepe de -chine. Miss Chris Gardiner, turquoise blue taffeta frock, with trimmings of ecru lace. Miss Maude Jeffries, emerald green velvet, finished with gold shc>ulder posy. Miss Vi YYatkinson, Tuakau, frock of lilac taffeta with tulle finishings. Miss G. McMillan, taffeta frock, with gold lace trimmings. Miss L. Savage, frock of orange taffeta and shawl of matching tints. Miss J. E. Wells, cameo pink crepe de chine, with overskirt of silver lace. Miss AY illiams, frock of embossed chiffon velvet. Miss Phillips, blue chiffon velvet, with flora 1 tri mrn i n gs. Miss Betty Hamilton, black georgette frock, with trimmings of lemon and silver. Miss Iris Sawyer frock of ivory satin, with georgette trimmings. Miss Madigan, frock of lemon taffeta and tulle. Mrs. A. Rooney, Sydney, biscuit georgette with trimmings of lace.

A BRIGHT PARTY

On Tuesday evening a delightful party was held at the residence of Mr. and Mrs. P. IT. Smith, East Tamaki, for the purpose of welcoming home Mrs. AVills McLaughlin, of Puhinui, Papatoetoe, who has been visiting Australia, and also to bid au re voir to Miss Helen Bewes, of Papetoetoe, who is shortly leaving on an extended tour of the Old Country. Bowls and tall vases filled with bea.utiful golden .shaded dahlias and zinnias gave a warm and cheery appearance to the rooms. Mrs. Smith was wearing a smart frock of imperial crepe satin, with finishings of gold lace. Mrs. Wills McLauglilan’s frock was of lily of the rallev green georgette, flounced with narrow silver lace. Miss Bewes chose a simple frock of floral patterned georgette. Table tennis caused much merriment, Miss Bradstreet and Mr. C. Allen being the winners of the tournament. Other amuging competitions were won by Mrs. McLaughlan and Mr. M. Wilson.

WAIKATO NOTES

t | (From Ou.r Own Correspondent) > I Mrs. Spencer, of Rotorua, is the I i ®ucst of Mrs. E. V. Stace, in Hamil- ; I r Alias E. Eggleston is having a fort- '■ night's holiday on the Thames coast, j ■ Mrs. Barclay Farquhar, of Fiji, j I who has been the guest ot' Mrs. I>. I Caldwell, in Cambridge, returns to 1 ■ Fiji by the Tofua at the end of the >fl wt-ek. Mrs. J. R Rowlands has returned to EE Hamilton from a holiday in New Fly- EE Mrs. YY. A. Oliver, of Alatangi, is i B at present hoiidaj-mg in Rotorua. EE MUSICAL EVENING. §3 On \\ ednesday evening the musical == circle oi me uyeeum Ciuo availed EE Uienise,ves of iur. nupkins s Kindly == oner to give a graniopnone evening. EE ms instrument \\ as an electrically re- ~ cording phonograph, which made tlie == nearing of his hue records a delignc. == JMe 111st part of the evening was ue- == \ oted to a miscellaneous programme, ~rz~ and after supper he gave tiie opera =~ Cavaiiena i*.usticana, in complete =~ form. Tne, lounge was warmed uy a SE blazing log ure. ana uecoruied witu == gay seasonal flowers. === Airs. F. Jolly, accing president of the H= club, was hostess, and introduced Air. j=== Hopkins, who was later warnny == thanked for his entertainment. EE Tiie members present were: Mrs. F. == Jolly. Airs. ii. Ferguson (convener oi =E musical circle). Airs. C. Bennett, Airs. EEE Hazard, Airs, Froude, Mrs. J. L). Smith, =E Airs. W. C. Stevens, Airs. R. B. Cran- =EE well. Airs. F. Bullock, Airs. E. V. Stace, -SEE Airs. Spencer (Rotorua), Airs. YY. A. ==§ (Jreen. Airs. F. Burley. Airs. Newell, EE Airs. A. Beale, Mrs. J. Standrin, Airs! = H. C. Gilbert. Airs. Andrews, Airs. T. === Campbell, Airs. E. J. Johnson. Airs. A. EE Sims, Airs. G. Barnett, Airs. F. Pinfold, == Mrs. J. Staples, Airs. G. Seifert. Airs. EEE Shirley, Airs. Cooper, Airs. Sinclair EE Arthur, Mrs. F. Powell, Airs. Cole; == Aliss R. Wilson, Miss 1. Andrews. Miss E. Wright, Aliss F. Jolly, Aliss Aioulo, == Aliss L. Valder, Miss G. YVyatt. Aliss == F. Lightbournc, Aliss o. Rowe, Aliss = E. 33uhock. Aliss B. I-loulden, Miss B. === Hunter. == OPENING OF CAMBRIDGE GOLF ~ LINKS. / j§3 The Cambridge Golf Club opened its ==== season on Saturday with a very jolly ==E afternoon. The president, Air. it. = Hannon, welcomed the visitors and == players, and hoped for the club's pros- = porous future, lie then drove the lirst = ball. = Airs. It. Hannon, with her charac- SEE teristic hospitality, entertained at tea 33 in the clubhouse, where autumn flowers. made tho tables gay. EEE A four-ball match in the after- EE noon was won by Airs. NickJe and Air. 5=5 Bradstreet, with Miss Watt and Air. =S= Nelson a close second. An approach- === ing and putting competition was won EEE by Aliss Jessie Thompson and Mr. = Calvert. == Among those present were: Airs. IT. = Hannon, Airs. N. Banks, Mrs. Nelson, = Airs. R. Alford, Mrs. Bradstreet, Airs. EEE P. Hunt, Airs. Sutherland, Airs. Grum- s=r itt, Mrs. G. G. L. Taylor. Airs. Tod. = Airs. Caldwell, Airs. Calvert, Airs. Garland, Mrs. Thompson, Mrs. E. Lee, == Airs. Perkins, Airs. Whewell, jun.. Mrs. j=== Mitchell. Airs. Alacky, Airs. Rush, Mrs. SEE Nickle, Airs. G. Neely, Airs. Mahoney, ~ Mrs. Jennins, Airs. Inn is Taylor, AT rs. === YV. Stopford. Mrs. Bourke, Mrs. D. Lun- EEE don, Mrs. Horne, Aliss G. Brann, Aliss == AT. Souter, Miss Savage, Aliss Vealo, Aliss K. Brabant, Aliss Foley, Aliss J. == Thompson, Aliss V. Garland, Aliss === James, Aliss D. Garland, Aliss I. Nelson. = Aliss T. Banks, Aliss C. Bertel sen. Aliss == Pickering, Aliss Whewell, Miss Robin- == son, Aliss AY’att. Aliss Hunter. Miss == Skeet, Aliss J. Couper, Aliss Wilton. g===: Aliss Cowley, Aliss E. Gane, Miss = Crowther, Aliss Thomas. If, before retiring at night,’or ■ even during the day, you apply milk instead 5S of vanishing cream to the face, a vel- ===== vety feel will be imparted to the kin. ===== To eliminate the risk of lightning, 3=5

instead of tying the clothes-line on to the house, use swan-neck insulator (cost about 9d). The risk is small, but so is the cost of an insulatoi', and it makes a neater job.