Tobacco Quid Discloses Secret

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 638, 15 April 1929, Page 11

Tobacco Quid Discloses Secret

CURIOUS CUSTOMS OFFICER

CONTRABAND DISCLOSED Tile curiosity of Customs officers—like the artfulness of old salts —knows , no bounds, and the following stories, told to me by an Excise officer (writes j a representative of “The Sunday News”), should dispel the hopes of any budding Jim Trelawney of ever making much profit out of contraband. “I remember one jolly old sailor,” said this officer of Customs, “who crossed the Channel three times a week and many times passed through our hands. I looked upon him with suspicion! “He was always only too ready to submit to a search, would take off his hat, throw- it down on the deck, open his jacket, pull up his jersey, empty all his pockets and make a thorough search of himself for the satisfaction of the most curious Customs officer that ever donned a suit of uniform. He would ask whether we thought him mug enough to bring stuff over for those who wouldn’t have the decency to ask a fellow to uiow the froth off a pint. For a while this jolly little fat sailor was looked upon as Caesar’s wife, beyond suspicion !

“On one occasion I searched about his bunk, while he was humming a little tune, the musical part of which didn't seem to lit in with Sam’s usual demeanour, and I became very suspicious of him. I found nothing. Then I asked if he. had anything dutiable on his person, when he at once resorted to the usual search of himself. I expressed myself still dissatisfied. ‘Well, search me yourself.’ said Sammy. I did so, but found nothing in his hat or on his person. “Then I looked him straight in the face and asked him to take off his boots. There was nothing in them, but in the bottom of his socks he had a pound of tobacco, mixed up between his toes, as black as coal-tar and as juicy as a lemon—the real stuff, and his soul was in it! Sam said he had put it there, as he heard it was good for keeping rheumatism away! On the back of his shoulder blades he also had two specially flattened pockets of tobacco quilted to his under-flannel! “On another occasion when I was on duty one night patrolling tlie quay, I went on board a vessel to have a chat with the ship’s nightwatchman. We were having a friendly yarn together when he spat out a chew of tobacco. As I was leaving I picked up the chew of tobacco. examined it. and came to the conclusion there was more where that came from.

“The ship had not been to a foreign port, therefore there should be no tobacco on board except what had been purchased in the United Kingdom. This tobacco had not been chewed long enough to please me. Sailors with their cliews of tobacco are much like children with their sweets —they wouldn’t part with one half sucked away unless they had more in the locker.

“The ship was beyond suspicion, as she had arrived from one British port to another and had not been to a foreign port. Nevertheless, as 1 left the ship I resolved to return again in a more seasonable hour and have it out with that “old dog” of a chew.

“Subsequently, when I knew the crew were about, I boarded her again, and went to the captain and said I wished to have a look round the ship. “I commenced to search the captain’s quarters right away, and I had not been long at it before I unearthed from his cabin a large parcel of hard cake tobacco. The captain’s dismay was comical. I continued with the rummage and found tobacco in all quarters of the ship, owned by every member of the crew “Then the captain confessed tha l he had secretly met a small Dutch vessel at sea that was prowling about for the express purpose of doing illicit traffic and had obtained the stuff from her and given the crew the same opportunity. ‘l’ve been to sea. for a. great many years, but I’ve never been trapped like that before.’ the captain said, ‘and I should like to know how you knew we had the stuff on board.’

“If that captain or any of the crew should happen to read this, I solemnly declare a chew of tobacco picked up in the ship’s galley gave them away!”