FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 637, 13 April 1929, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN.” THE SEARCH The seaplane carrier Albatross is going at full speed westward. The men aboard know the airmen have been found, but cannot turn back until specific orders are received from the Navy Board. —News item. The joy fill -news is flashed across The ocean's wide expanse. Upon the good ship Albatross The skipper looks askance. "Good Lord,” says he. " The men -/ c found. And here are toe, still outward bound." No signal comes. No dash or dot. No fragment couched in morse. And so the ship the board forgot Goes racing on her course. Smithy s’ no longer in the lurch; But still t she must go forth to search. This is, of course, the Nelson touch That stamps the heart of oak. “Orders is orders —lacking such. We carry on the joke.” But are they really any good. Whose heads , not hearts, are made of T. TOHEROA. TRUE SCOTS For the gentle redundancy that school children are invited to eschew, the following newspaper heading commends itself: —- LIQUOR AT FUNCTION A SCOTTISH GATHERING THE RETORT COURTEOUS A little over 10 year* ago. when Admiral of the Fleet Lord W ester Wemyss, whose retirement is announced, was First Sea Lord of the Admiralty, he was appointed to notify the German envoys of the naval conditions of the armistice. “Is it admissible,” protested the German negotiators, “that our fleet should be given up without having been beaten?” Fixing the Germans with his monocle, Admiral Wemyss retorted: “It had only to come out!” THE TERROR OF THE SEAS One of those trick prosecutions by which Government departments occasionally contribute to the gaiety of nations was heard in the Magistrate’s Court yesterday, when the owner of an outboard motor-boat, who was so indiscreet as to take holidaymakers at Milford for trips at a shilling a time, was charged portentously that he did “ply in navigable waters without a valid certificate of survey, and carry passengers for hire without having a certificated master or engineer.” If the owner intends to continue his. nefarious practices it would be interesting to hear if the department insists that the craft should be put in the Calliope dock for survey, and, furthermore, what test owners in such case should have to pass to acquire the required certificate. The cockpit of an outboard motor-boat is rather small, but still, it should be possible to squeeze in a steward or two and some A.B.’s, beside the “certificated master and (or) engineer,” and thus the farce could be completed to the satisfaction of all.

rh ftf -r :'.r ~/r. r'r fit -I- --- CARES OF THE CAR-LESS The wail of the lady in “The Patsy,” that “even the washerwoman had a car,” touches a sensitive chprd in many a penurious breast. The householder who pays a bill to an appealing supplicant with every appearance of want sees the gentleman riding home from toil in a limousine. Just as the glittering sleighs of the pleas-ure-loving Russian aristocracy, driving on the Nevski Prospekt, had something to do with fomenting envy and a revolution, so the Aucklander who lacks a car feels that the world is topsy-turvy. There is one Auckland establishment where contentment usually reigns. The only car-owner on the staff was the managing-director, and that was conceded to be but right and proper. Then a new chariot appeared in the parking-place. Horrors! It belonged to the office boy. FEUD From the Police Court, of all places, comes news of a habit Henderson lads have when at Swanson. Not “When in Swanson do what the Swansonians do,” but “When in Swanson ‘do’ the Swansonians.” Hence a lively interlude occurred at a dance. What the result was, other than the fine levied upon the visiting he-men, is not stated, but the revelation of this deep intersuburban feeling prompts the thought that a lively promoter might turn it to good account. A few suggested items:

Point Chevalier v. Remuera, at Remuera (strangleholds barred). Otahuhu v. EUerslie, at Ellerslie racecourse: 500-a-side. (No _ beg pardons). Avondale v. New Lynn (fire bricks barred).