Heart and Home Chats

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 552, 3 January 1929, Page 5

Heart and Home Chats

By

Anne Ruledge

,1/iAj Anne Rutledge t vill answer letters in this column every Thurs - Jci;. accomplished writer, an anient feminist, a student of human nature and a wide traveller, she is well fitted for the task. Those who have problems and lack a confubuite to help in their solution may. with confidence, write to Miss Kutledye, whose knowledge will be placed at their disposal. A sympathetic woman , she will assist those who stand in need of assistance. Communications for Miss Kutledye should be addressed to . THE SUN office.

EMANCIPATION pear Muss Rutledge,— I am attracted by a girl who works in an office, and lam wondering if she would make a good wife. It is apparent that she thinks she knows a great deal about the ways of men, and at times her independence is quite disconcerting- Do you advise mo to look for charms in the good, old-fashioned, domesticated girl, or continue to be on affectionate terms with my business friend ? KEEN. answer ~ The good old-fashioned, domesticated K irl is non est, brother, and thank Heaven for it! Let me tell you that your little office friend will make you every bit as happy as her mid-Victor-ian sister ever could. She may not be as timid or as shy, but she will be practical, acquainted with the facts of life and well-trained. She knows that two and two make four, and for real palship and understanding the girl who has rubbed shoulders with the world, “romps home” every time! You will find, too, that when things go wrong she is ever with sympathy, and the encouragement necessary to help a man to overcome the obstacles of life. So, if your friend is sound at heart with a reasonable capacity for affection, and thought for others, she should make you the best of wives. But do not mistake a mere passing fancy for genuine affection. Put the heart before physical attraction, and make sure that Dan Cupid's arrow has scored a bull’s eye, then your matrimonial stock should ANNE RUTLEDGE. A SPOILED CHILD Dear Miss Rutledge My sister’s little girl is coming to live with me, and I am rather concerned because she has been hopelessly spoiled. As she is only five, it seemed to me that something might yet be done to help matters. Have you any suggestions to make? ANSWER. A spoilT child is a nuisance to all concerned. There is no happiness for the child, or for those about it, and grownups, responsible for this state of affairs, deserve to be punished much more than the unfortunate child. In your new undertaking, you must recognise from the beginning that it will take much determination on your part to correct your small niece’s waywardness. But, until you grow to understand each other, handle her with gloves on. Don’t begin by using discipline that may "rub her the wrong way." This may discourage you at first, but until you have earned the child’s confidence, you cannot expect to make much headway. Then begin by treating her as though she were a young adult. Always be kindly firm and Insist upon implicit obedience. her for good behaviour, and keep her mind occupied by putting her to work on simple tasks part of the day. Other well-behaved children should prove a good influence, especially if you teach her to be unselfish in her motives toward them. Teach her, also, to be .-elf-reliant, and to conquer the difficulties that may begin to loom on her youthful horizon- _ . ANNE RUTLEDGE.

OFF TO SUVA Dear Miss Rutledge,— I want to spend a three months’ holi-

day In Fiji, and should like to know I 'vliat kind of a. wardrobe to take along 1 with me, also, how to sot the best out of such a trip. Please advise me. | L'NE JEI'XE FULL.E. I AX SW Kit ♦ your wardrobe properly! By j that I mean take along sports clothes, «n ter noon t rocks and evening gowns; sports shoe*s, light walking shoes and satm or brocade evening shoes. Pack in some small hats, one broad-brimmed hat and a sunshade, and be sure to remember that simplicity in style is the keynote of good dressing. .Spun silks and linens arc suitable for sports clothes, and voiles and printed silks make lovely afternoon frocks for the tropics. You w ill need light, warm wraps as the evenings are sometimes cool, and as Suva society has plenty of parties and social evenings, you wll find a fair selection of dinner and oemi-evening frocks quite useful. Another word of advice—take plenty of exercise during your holiday, as there arc few places in the world where it is easier to get "under the weather” than in Fiji. Don't spend much time in Suva but go to the other islands, for, by so doing, you will see the real island life and enjoy most beautiful scenery. Last, but not least—throw your whole personality into the trip. Make up your mind to enjoy every minute of it. By taking a keen interest in all that you see and hear, you should have an enjoyable as well as an interesting time. ANNE RUTLEDGE. BUTTER BY THE PINT Dear Miss Rutledge.— Can you tell me how to keep butter firm during the hot weather without an ice-box? FARMER’S WIFE. ANSWER. Place the butter in a soup plate arid stand in a pan of water to which a little salt has been added. Cover with a large flower pot. Put a wet cloth over the top. and allow the ends to dip into water. Stand \u a draught. ANNE RUTLEDGE. MISS 19 FACES A CRISIS Dear Miss Rutledge, You seem to have given Son readers soino extremely helpful advice, consequently I am wondering if you can help me too. lam 19 years of age and very fond of a young man, the first in my life for whom I have felt any real regard. Unfortunately, this young man has had many other love affairs, and so-called friends, not approving of our keeping company, have told me various stories about him. I didn’t altogether believe these stories, but felt naturally curious as at times my friend seemed rather cool toward me. Again, it seemed that he reciprocated my affection. Do you think it wise for me to regard this young man’s attentions seriously, or shall I try to return the affections of another young man who is very interested in me? PERPLEXED. ANSWER. I certainly think that at present it would be most unwise of you to attach any "importance” to the first young man’s attentions. Wait until you have something more definite to go upon; some tangible proof that he is genuinely interested in you, and not playing "fast and loose” with your affections. As for his past "friendships” and the gossip you have heard concerning them, l assure you that no good can come of raking over what may have been indiscretions. It is your friend’s present conduct and his attitude toward the future that really count. When you are absolutely convinced that he is "playing the game,” then give him the necessary encouragement if you care for him. Remember that each day you live you are moulding yourself for a higher or lower scale of ideals. Regarding the second young man: Unless you have a definite understanding there is no reason why you should confine your company to any one man. You will know in due time whether you care for a man enough to marry him. Do not rush into matrimony. You are very young and have plenty of time to assume the higher responsibilities of life. AXNE RUTLEDGE.