FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 531, 7 December 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN."

SONG OF THE “STRIKER

The Leningrad Match Trust has sent to Australia a parcel of a new brand of matches specially prepared for that market. Comrades when you wish to Tight Glorious jam-tin bombs at night. Killing scabs with swift despatch Use the Russian safety match! Starving kids that earn no pay Working twenty hours a day, Shaped those splints to reach your shore, Yours, whose week is -i't • Use them! Burn and fire and smash (They do not take much of your cash), But if they won’t strike, buy no more Because we’ve had that sort before! ■ — LUCIPBR. THE RUNMAKER Mead, the English batsman, compiled most of his score of 72 in the recent Test match by means of singles.. There is some talk of calling him Ruimy-Mead. INDIGNATION , Prankton ratepayers are indignant because the Audit Department has requested Mr. C. Lafferty, a resident who sold a small piece of land to the Hamilton Borough Council, to resign from the council. Evidently the Audit Department, which gets taken this way at times, fears an outbreak of Lafferty Rules. ITEMS OF THE DAY A thing of beauty has a boy for ever. Sufferers from the talking- movies say they are victims of yell shock. Lofty but not inspiring, like a Giraffe’s ears, was the comment of an English paragraphist on a recent speech at Geneva. When H.R.H. the Prince of Wales shot an elephant in Africa recently, a New York paper gave the cable the following headline: “Dead-eye Davy bags elephant in Afrie Wilds.” STATISTICS INVOKED In spite of the excellent efforts of the Auckland Advertising Club, New Zealand has still something to learn from New York. Here is an original advertisement recently published in a New York daily by a big department store:“To the 3)3 Babies who will be born in New } York to-day, — “O / course you’re going to be born. What chance has a baby against a fullgrown statistict . . . Well, here you are, and congratulations! . . . It’s easier to learn whilg you’re young, and you might as well start out with a few good habits and let the bad ones take care of themselves. Now, stop that noise and listsen. .... “Pads at S 3 cents or S 3 cents, depending on ithe sine, and rubber sheets at 60 cents, have a mission in your life, and don’t let mother hold out on you. . . “Bird’s-eye or flannelette diapers are considered chic this season, and papa will be glad to know they’re only 1.36 dollars and 1.59 dollars a dozen, as you’ll want lots of them. , . X ’l= * THE KARITANE WAY? The modern knight errant sometimes meets some surprising rebuffs. While driving along a quiet stretch of road the other day, a motorist noticed a girl peering with a frown beneath the bonnet of a car parked at the roadside. The motorist hopped out and ran gallantly to her assistance, noting as he did so that there was a matronly woman in the back seat holding a baby. “What’s the trouble?” asked the knight of the highway. “No trouble at all,” said the girl. “I’ve just stopped to heat the baby’s bottle against the engine.”

rft tit th if- ff: -;f re fl- re H- -r -r -i- -h -.Yz "THABH ORRIGIIT ” In view of the approach of the Christmas season, the following typewritten epistle is of interest as an example of how not to acknowledge a gift: Dear Jimmy,—How extremely kind of you to send me that case of whisky for Christmas. I have never tasted such marvellous whiskey in my life. I have never tasted such marvellous whishky, and keep tasting it. The whisky you have sent me for Christmas is marvellous. I keep tashing it and how kind of you to send me thish wonderlous whichkey for ’Xmas which I keep tashing. It’s realy really its mshkind of you tokeepsending me thish whishky in cases which I keep tashing for ’Xmas and tashing hie die diekery dock. What kind wshishky ole man how ex thash ex tremely marvelous to tash on ’Xmas you greatt find ud thathank you ole for extrextra extrem whwhalshy ininaina cash case Glc, you £ £ XXXX Kisses Kissmus & XMU (£J Y lim £OIC OPA ////. Cheeßlqo 00£/ffl6g.