FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 530, 6 December 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

TEST LAMENT

Tlie Australian papers describe the first Test as a test of horror. Radical changes in the team are demanded — Sixty-six ! Ye Gods I Sixty-six! Horrors, isn’t this the devil of a fir l What of Ryder, Kippax, Ponsford, Kelleway— They have failed —and they must pet to II — away. Eight dismissed for sixty-six, What a crew of derelicts; These batsmen whom we thought could never fail! But its evidently trite That Australia’s kangaroo. Is all TAIL. — BEOWULF. COMMERCIAL CANDOUR An unusually candid advertisement froin the “Southland Times”: “Mug, with £SOO, wants someone to show him how to make a living with same.” Whether or not the advertiser makes a living, it seems highly probable that someone else will make a killing. ... PRESSURE ON SPACE The Pacific Islands have not lost all their simple freshness. The paper at Suva recently devoted seven of its columns to a report of a banquet. On account of pressure on space, the day’s cables were held over. The outside world could wait. ... PONSFORD FAILS What happens to brilliant writersportsmen when they fail to “deliver the goods” at the pastime which won them their journalistic prominence? This must be exciting the mind of cricketer W. H. Ponsford, who has failed miserably against the Englishmen. His employers, a newspaper syndicate, which is paying him a very big salary, must also he disturbed. “Australia will win,” wrote Ponsford a few days ago, adding that the team would have at least 10 batsmen. Quite evidently the author was not one of them. One is reminded of a cablegram concerning the large number of “journalists” gathered for the match at Brisbane. Among the scribes were Warwick Armstrong (whisky salesman), P. G. H. Fender (wine and spirit merchant), Clem Hill (accountant), and others of various crafts. Journalists, indeed! » ... PARISIAN “BIRDERS” Taking a rare puritanical turn for France, the recently formed Pugnacious Playgoers’ Association proposes to rid Paris of nasty plays. The P.P.A., which has 1,000 members, will sit in judgment on plays, and those regarded as unpleasant will be condemned. The managers of theatres where such plays are produced will be asked to take them off, and if the request is not complied with more vigorous measures are to be taken. The association will send a detachment of members to the offending theatre, and havmg done careful lung training beforehand, will “bird” the show until it is taken off. Militant Puritanism is a novelty, but let’s hope it won’t take the salt out of French farces.

REPRESENTED MANY LANDS.—Mr. Robert Millar, Vice-Consul for Norway in Auckland, has been created a Knight of the Order of St. Olav. During the war he was also Consul for Denmark and for a time represented Iceland in New Zealand. He has also represented the Kingdom of Tonga. ii- iii rh 'yf. If r'f !!- -|- t|- fi- -jr -j- rk A FISH-STORY A visiting piscatologist has stated that the world’s fish supply is running out. Thus still another ancient saw, “There are more fish in the sea,” etc., must be relegated to obscurity. Should there be many gentlemen about like one wno entered a Queen Street fish mart early last evening, the failure of the fish supply will be calamitously accelerated. He began modestly enough with a flounder, then made a deal in schnapper, and next a monumental excursion into the hapuka market. The man behind the counter was perspiring in his efforts to satisfy his exacting customer. A queue of people eager to purchase their evening meal was forming up behind. But the manipulation of the fish market was only just beginning. “That will he twelve. shillings,” said the shop assistant, after his client had acquired shrimps, whitebait and lobsters in profusion. But a couple of pounds of mussels were necessary before the abnormal appetite was satiated. “Are you sure you don’t want any smoked mullet?” asked an aggrieved little man who had been waiting a very long time; while someone else offered to run out for a taxi. But the Big Buyer was capable of carrying his own fish. He solemnly wound some string round his several parcels, and then walked out of the shop, unwinding yards of string from the reel above the counter. He had forgotten to cut it!