FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 407, 16 July 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN."

SILHOUETTES! OF THE SESSION No. 3: Mr. J. A. Hash Calls for extra cash. ‘‘Our pedagogues, I plead, Arc underpaid indeedl’ f HON MOT An Australian magistrate recently told a man named Waters, charged with being drunk, that he belied his name. It is really marvellous how magistrates think of these bright remarks. ANTI-CLIMAX The Duke of York, at a meeting of the Highland Society in London, advised all men to follow his example and marry a Scots woman. Unfortunately, the effect of the Duke's propaganda is rather negatived by a cable which states .that the Episcopal Church of Scotland has decided to omit the word “obey” from its marriage service. BUSINES,S ACUMEN Acclimatisation societies are discovering that the Maori is not as simple as he would like them to believe. It is well known that the societies pay so much each for evidence of slaughtered hawks. It has now | been discovered that Maoris are in the habit of selling the heads to one society and the feet to another. The Maoris put their, heads together and the acclimatisation society foots the bill. A NEW DANGER “Traffic and insurance experts in London are not afraid that there will be many cases like that of the Liverpool woman who died through dislocating a shoulder while straphanging in a tram,” an English writer meekly records. If such an accident can happen in a London tram, the L.O.M. and the City Council will view with concern the possibilities on some of Auckland’s bus routes. Parnell residents are bound to be gravely alarmed when they hear of the fatality in level London. They are well acquainted .with the road surface between The Strand and Cleveland Road. * * * A SAVING VIRTUE Henry Thompson, famous London surgeon, who was called in to operate on Napoleon 111. in his last illness, also numbered Thackeray among his patients. On one occasion, reminisces Anthony Hope, of “Prisoner of Zenda” fame (in “Memories and Notes”), he asked Thackeray, -whom he was visiting, professionally: “About how many bottles of wine do you drink a year, Mr. Thackeray?” Thackeray affected to think. “Well—roughly—about five hundred, Mr. Thompson.” The doctor looked grave—or as grave as he could —and the patient added, in deprecation of imminent rebuke:— “But it’s almost all other people's wine, you know.”

HIS LIFE WORK On completion of 27 years of service, Mr, T. K. Sidey is to retire from his seat as representative of Dunedin South. Mr. Sidey spoke of retirement several years ago, hut he could not bring himself to leave the sight of the marble pillars and the sound of the division bells at Parliament Buildings till all hope of getting Summer Time on to the Statute Book was abandoned. Having persuaded the country into a trial of summer time clock shifting, he will engage in one last drive this year to have the measure re-enacted before he leaves the House. But he is spending many anxious moments over the prospects, for the “ayes” will have to organise their forces vigorously if the member for Dunedin South is to leave Wellington at the end of this session permanently acclaimed Summer-Time Sidey. AND THEN SHE KNEW Andre Maurois, the French writer — his “Disraeli” is a biography not to be sneezed at—was an interpreter with the British Army during the world war. From which you will gather that he speaks English pretty well, although he modestly distrusts his powers in this direction. On one occasion he was driving with an English general at the front and came to a level crossing. Maurois got out of the car and asked the woman to open the gate guarding the crossing. She refused. Maurois argued and argued in vain. The general became more and more impatient. He finally jumped to the roadway, crying: “I thought you could speak French?” And then he apostrophised the lady: “Will you or will you not open this gate?” he roared. “And the lady understood quite well,” adds Maurois, “and opened it.”