Honeymoons.

Stratford Evening Post, Issue 100, 6 September 1929, Page 4

Honeymoons .

1 BY EIUC PENDER. 1

During the last mouth or two one cannot pick up an. English magazine witliout finding at least one article on the subject of a. honeymoon. In. fact writers seem to be' going perfectly goofy on the matter. —x — i For like .benefit of the younger I generation it might be explained I that a honeymoon is ai relic of \ ietorian days, wliich has not complete- ( ly died out and which shows certain j signs of becoming popular again ? just like ping, pong or jazz. It is different from what modern people eaM a week-end, in that a. parson or a registrar must ho included in the pack as it were, i'f the game is to be .played properly.;

Now I know nothing; whatever against a honeymoon. As a. matter of fact I regard it a,s one of the tilings that made our Great British Empire what it is to-day. One of those things that helps hoarding-house and hotel keepers to pay their toixes. In other words it is the period between the treaty and the actual war! —x — It it what conies after the honeymoon that make one rather grow cold, or go all “a goosey” as the old maid said when the butcher hoy gave her the glad eye. Of course different people take different views of marriage. Some, in proof of their argument that single blessedness is idiotic will quote the words that “it is not good for man to live alone.” WTiile on the other hand married men will wish to heaven they had the chance. Now I don't take up any dogmatic attitude in the matter, I have a. perfectly open mind on both view points. If a, man is actuated by an overwheming desire i do another man a good turn by keeping the other man’s daughter for good and always, well why try- to stop him, though if, may be hard to see why he does not set about keeping an Alsatian which he can always poison if it bites. Or he can get a wireless set with which he can make sure of having, the last word by indulging in a very simple operation. In a matter of this kind it is not a good plan;'as I said before, to take up any partisian attitude. It is noi use as it were talcing ready made opinions on the subject. One must think matters out for one’s self just like when one decides to support a political party. I always think matters out for myself in i hatregard. For instance I always say one party cannot be - any worse than another, and when I get to the polling booth, I strike them both out. Its the only way to vote intelligently, don’t you think? I ‘ ' -x- ---' But politics and marriage are two digerent subjects, so we will return again to where we were before we left ami discuss the basic principles of matrimony. I can’t Temerabut just exactly where wo left off, but I want to make it clear that the prcvaiiug belief that all girls are breaking their necks to get married is a delusion and a snare. I proved that conclusively the other day when I felt a cold in the head coming on and thought I should have i somebody to look after me and wash my handkerchiefs and all those noble. sort of thoughts which often come to us chaps who think for ourselves. I met a girl! She did not strike me as being particularly beautiful, although she wap actually, if judged by the standard of the man who said a woman is always attractive if her teeth tare nice. And her teeth were nice—botli of them- —.

Well as I was saying, I put her to the test. I, said: “What would you say if I asked you to marry me?” looking in vain for the blush tinging her cheeks, but it didn’t come.

“No,” 1 she replied, to which T answered, “I didn’t intend to ask

That proves my theory. That girl lost a good husband, because 1 am. perfectly determined I shall never ask her again. lam not one of those men who can be trifled with, and if T ever go on a honeymoon I shall go alone. 1