A DIARY OF TO-DAY.

Stratford Evening Post, Issue 40, 22 June 1929, Page 4

A DIARY OF TO-DAY.

(By BYSTANDER.) In the women's page of Thursday'* issue of the "Post" a, writer gives lots of hints upon how to make a success of marriage. But the. best of all was overlooked viz: Don't marry! A game of chess is to be played by I wireless between opponents 7,000 miles apart. 1 am glad to se.ei such careful precautions! againUt< rough! ' play. —x— The latest Scots story is of the AlkJrdonian :who was atj a. di(ane|rj party of twelve and apparently announced that lie was. going to pay the bill. Next day the newspapers had head-liites "Ventriloquist Strangled." An American woman stockbroker, wh 0 , has just gone bankrupt with liabilities of £20,000, is continuing to edit a financial magazine and to advise her clients on speculative stocks. This reminds me of the) pilot who remarked to the skipper of the ship he was steering into harbour: "There ain't a rock or a snag in this stream I don't know {Crash), and that's one of 'em." _x— Stratford has been able to, claim several celebrities. For instance it has the Dominion's greatest optinv lisjt Who thought he could gelt the Scots Society members to raise their own subscriptions. Then there was the woman who gave a child threetpenee to dive into a bran tub and when the prize was forthcoming prom-. ptly annexed it t 0 the accompaniment of wails more, anquished! than musical. Folks said that that woman wan the meanest in New Zealand. I believe that Stratfordl also laid claim to possessing the most militarist Borough Councillor in the world, and I know it has the prettiest girl in Taranaki, (I am not mentioning nHmes). But Stratford can now go one better than that, for it can claim the greatest salesman thaty ever was. Two days ago he sold a comb 1 to a bald headed mart. _x_ The man with the perpetual grouch got into a railway carriage.. He was a commercial traveller and the others of his profession, knowing his partiality for finding fault, naturally wondered what subject would excite his wrath. There seemejd! no cause for ' complaint about the train, in fact everything seemed so eminently satisfactory that it almost appeared an though the; looked for burst was not to come. They all joined in a game of cards, and even this failed to bring forth a sign of anrtoyance f>om the man with the sluggish liver for the cards deaH> to ihim were always good. At last he took his hat from his head and gazed at it with hatred. Then he exclaimed with venom "That ib—■ — thing never did fit me!"