Shaun's Patch

Southland Times, Issue 25311, 14 June 1935, Page 8

Shaun's Patch

A atna nomsnas now and th«a » relished by th.

Mr Atmore says that “no return to prosperity is possible under the present system,” and I am inclined to think that some members of Parliament will find that no return is possible under the present system.

The fact that kidnapping is becoming unprofitable is a sign that kids will not be caught napping so often.*

After mature consideration I have come to the conclusion that the recent weather has been due to the monetary system, and that unless it' is altered there will be no hope of averting an argument on stocking the rivers next season.

Noticed a heading yesterday: ECLIPSE OF SUN. but it was nothing to do with the Christchurch newspaper conflict; merely somethin,' to do with the heavenly body. EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence containing “irate”: “Will the City Council adopt a “irate?”.

As joyful to me as to birds The seeds that come on groundsel. Will be the clash in deeds and words Of the two boys on the Council.

SOUTHLAND LIMERICKS. I celebrate the useful blighter Who made the streets at night much brighter; But when neath municipal moon The darkness comes abroad too soon I curse the fellow “That B-lighter.” * * * •

In the Mataura Borough Council they addressed the Mayor as Worshipful Master. It is understood that City Councillors are uncertain whether to use Your Holiness, or merely to put a capital letter on personal pronouns when alluding to Invercargill’s Provost. « * * * Punch says: Somebody has discovered that every important date and number in Gladstone’s life added up to five. This supports the theory that he chewed each mouthful thirty-two times. - What it really shows is that he wasn’t Gladstone at all. He must have been Disraeli, the letters of whose name add to 59 (containing a 5) and if one is added for the full point, you have 60, and that divided by the number of months in the year gives 5. It also proves the 8.1. case, but I haven’t time for the correspondence such evidence would provoke. * From a correspondent:— The slaves in our history made bricks without straw, The lawyer grows' thin when there isn’t no law, But Shaun’s sense of humour grows more every day, “Why shouldn’t the teacher teach bairns for no pay?”

Humour may grow with the dawn of each day, But smitten by modesty, sir, I must say, , That though you have written with ideas elastic, The ink you have used for your pen is sarcastic.—Me.