Original Verse

Southland Times, Issue 25306, 8 June 1935, Page 19

Original Verse

Cousin John McLeay has rhymed the first and third lines of each verse. It is not necessary to do this, but the second and fourth lines must he rhymed. , OUR PICNIC. One fine Summer’s day, When the sun was out, We went a picnic in the bay, Down by the old river bed. We had cakes and sweets, And a bag of apples too. We watched the logs in fleets, Go sailing down the river. \ In the bush we played, Hide and Seek for fun. Out of wood we made, A boat for sailing about. But the time soon came, When home we had to go. In the funny old train, And so ended our day. —1 mark to Cousin John McLeay (12), Seaward Downs. Cousin Edna Wall has written smooth and effective verse. EARLY MORNING. When the early morning breaks, The dew lies on the ground, And everything looks fresh and new For miles and miles around. The little birdies in the trees Begin to hop and sing. ’ They fill the air with music sweet, And joy to hearts they bring. * Where the meadow grass is green The cows feed in the sun, • For they seem to understand What good the dew has done -3 marks to Cousin Edna Wall (13), c/o Mrs W. J. Scott, Otahu, OtautauBlackmount R.D. Cousin Constance’s verse, too, is smooth and effective. The repetition of the second line should be avoided. THE SNAIL. Last night I saw a snail, With its house upon its back. It had a little tail, And it left a little track. She made for the wall, With her house on her back. She had a little hall, In an old bit of sack. -3 marks to Cousin Constance Lloyd (11), Glencoe R.D. The second last line of Cousin Pat’s verse is irregular. MARY’S BIRTHDAY. Mary is just four years old, So I hope Tuesday won’t be cold. For Fanny and Pat are coming to play With Bruce and Mary on that day. There will be Maud and Isobell, too And pretty Barbara in dress of blue. There’ll be jellies and cakes ever so nice I’m sure Mary will want a birthday twice —2 marks to Cousin Pat Henderson (10), Waikana. Cousin Patricia has experimented successfully with a new pattern. She should avoid contradictions, such as occur in the third and fourth lines. Consider the sense of your verse, as well as the technical side. WINDY DAYS. The days I love are the windy days, When your hair is toss’d askew, When the day is mild— And the wind is wild— Ah! I love those days, Don’t you? •.The days I love are the windy days, When the sky is a cloudy blue; The wind sways the trees — And blows humming bees— Oh! I love those days, Don’t you? —3 marks to Cousin Patricia Summers (15), Orepuki. The short lines are effective for this subject. “Goes” and “grows” are too much alike to be good rhymes. THE WIND. The wind makes music, Wherever he goes; Music that ripples And ebbs and grows. Strong hard twangs In electric wires; He drums in chimney, And strums on spires. Dreams in the delicate Strings of a tree; Pipes in the slim reeds, Wild and free; Over the forest, A hymn that flows; The wind makes music Wherever he goes. —2 marks to Cousin Chrissie Ross (16), 24 Lochend street, Tainui E. 1., Dunedin.