Shaun’s Patch

Southland Times, Issue 22294, 9 April 1934, Page 6

Shaun’s Patch

A little nonsense now and then relished by the wisest men. —Hudlbras.

A British dietitian has announced that people who do brain work need less food than those who do physical labour. That was why we starved our poets I suppose. # ♦ * ♦ Don’t go thinking of all the fat men of your acquaintance. FAMOUS CONTENTS. Table of ■. Gold . Dis . * * very rare. * ♦ * * EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence containing the word “emissive”: “Omissive you’re going may I come with you?” THE INNOCENTS. She thought housekeepers were those who couldn’t sell them. * * * * Mental arithmetic is finding out the cost of articles in your mind: Sentimental arithmetic is finding out the cost of things in your heart. Ruskin' says: The keenness of our vision is to be tested by the expansiveness of our love. That suggests a good looker. * * * * Again my Ruskin: Some people see angels where others see only empty space.” Of course, some also see pink elephants and green snakes. ♦ * * * Government: The side which forgets its election promises. Opposition: The side which remembers them. ♦ * * * A STEIN SONG. This is a limerick anyone would like to own: There’s a wonderful family—Stein. There’s Gert, and there’s Ep. and there’s Ein. Gert’s poems are bunk, Ep.’s statues are junk, And nobody understands Ein! » * ♦ » An American newspaper recently announced that Henry Ford began life without shoes. But what is remarkable in that? * ♦ * » Looks as if Major Douglas is going to the place to which Technocracy has gone. * * * * TRAVELLING LIGHT. A manuscript which has been on view at the Bodleian Library recently helps to show how Mmes have changed. It is a sheet of paper on which Lord Clarendon, then Charles Il’s chief minister, asked the King—during a Privy Council meeting—for penr.-'ssion to visit Tunbridge for a day or two. Charles scribbled his consent on the same paper, and added - “I suppose you would go with a light trayne.” “I intend to take nothing but my night bag,” Clarendon wrote in reply. “You will not go without forty or l.lty horse!’ protested Charles. And Clarendon replied, still on the same sheet of paper: “I counte that parte of my bag.” SIZE. The stout man standing in the crowd Behind the lady stylish Was shocked to find that she had turned With eye both wide and rilish: “I wish you wouldn’t push like this” She said his stoutness eyeing, “Not pushing, ma’am,” he made reply, “It’s only that I’m sighing.”