Shaun’s Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21896, 23 December 1932, Page 6

Shaun’s Patch

A liitl* nonaenM no* nnd tbon In rclUhed by the *Ue«t mon. —>Hu4lbnut

Miss Nellie Scanlan says:— I might tell you that when I start a voyage I do not have a bath for three days, and I have noticed that people who survive everything else often go down with their first bath. Is that why so many little boys are not seasick? ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ But does this mean that Miss Scanlan dodges the non-survival by making her first bath the fourth? * * * ♦ A Melbourne Magistrate said: “Blonde women are more honest than brunettes.” Is that why gentlemen preferred them? » ♦ ♦ ♦ “I’ll be an honest woman,” Said she and dyed her hair, “And everyone will know that I’m Fair and square.” EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a Sentence containing the word “sagittate”: “Let sagittate for more pay.” ♦ ♦ • ♦ ♦ The theory of relativity is that members of your family should be given first chance. A girl marrying for money wants a father to give her the heir. FAMOUS AIRS. “La donna e mobile.” Sea . on the G string. oplane. Gales. Samson’s. " Debon . Auburn. Seven-a-side. Halitosis. trigger. Son and . Yes, my son, the man who wears a wig is putting on airs. ♦.* ♦ ♦ The optimist regards them as smile posts on the way to recovery. • ♦ * ♦ China and Japan are discussing about Manchuria. Dis cussing is of very little help, however. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ The New York American quotes Calvin Coolidge: The money wee furnished we had money we furnished wee had to borrow. Someone must pay it. It cannot be cancelled. A wee bit of stammer or was the exPresident trying to be loquacious? * * * * A psychologist says we should never perform any difficult task before breakfast. I agree: No hard tasks ere breakfast Is an aid to setting up; But how avoid the hardest task That of getting up? The problem has a solvent, Denuding it of dread— You merely see that breakfast Is served to you in bed. FIGHTS WE MISS. The Los Angeles Times reporting a pugilistic encounter: Gill was dropt three times and floundered all round the ring in the two rounds he managed to survive under wild right-hand lefts to the chin. I’d have enjoyed seeing Gill’s googly opponent. * » * » Empty sound: Pleased to meet you. Thanks for a pleasant evening. Nice day, isn’t it? ♦ ♦ * * Of course ships are called “she.” They make use of permanent waves. Some people Mlink that a life size statue of some politicians could be carved on the head of a pin. » » » • I wonder if Germany calls them pocket battleships because that is where the stuff to build them comes from. * » ’« •

THE INNOCENTS. When she was bilious she saw a circulating library. A parvenu rises from nothing to a social grade in which he is nothing. » * * •

A correspondent sends me this: A Scot wishing to buy a whiskey which cost 9d, found he possessed only a sixpenny piece. Necessity being the mother of invention, he pawned the 6d for 5d and sold the pawn ticket to a friend for 4d, so that he could obtain the drink. How’s that? Well, it seems to me the friend would be the only loser.

RELEASE! This is the time without better, This is the day for rejoicing, For kicking up heels And cavorting. Gone is the groan of the toiler, The mourn and the moan of the worker Tied to the wheel of his labour, And off flings he badges of office, The faded old coat that is holy With cuffs decorated with fringes, And inkspots and splotches. Off flings he thoughts of the time-clock, The clang of the gaol-warder timeclock, As down with a musical rattle He jerketh the blind of the desk-top.

Close up the inkpot, Throw down the blotter, The pencil, the calendar, The calendar ended! Fling to the shelf the Thesaurus, The Year Book, and all books of refer-

ence, Park the old scissors, The paste bottle, Friend of all writers, And let us be off to the freedom That calls us insistent, Before any voice of the master Can stay us, retie us to duty.

This is the day of releasing. Of holiday, slipped from the rattle, The battle Of cattle penned hard by the tables. I am a colt in the paddock, Galloping over the grasses, Jumping the brooklets and fences, Leaping in pleasure, Leaping unmeasured, Pausing for merely an instant Before I go with a month’s freedom, To wish you with handsprings A right Merry Christmas And a New Year that’s happy.