Unpublished Reports—l

Southland Times, Issue 21662, 26 March 1932, Page 6

Unpublished Reports— l

THE OYSTER PROGRESS LEAGUE. The annual meeting of the Oyster Progress League was held on the League’s property, Bluff Harbour, last week. The president, Mr B. I. Valve occupied the Rock. The annual report stated (inter alia) that although all members of the oyster community lived in a perpetual depression in the bed of the sea, the past year had been a most successful oijc. The national debt had been reduced by 100,090 minutiae, while a conversion loan of two million shells had been successfully arranged. The Oyster Derby had been run, resulting in a win for Pasco Bros. Mr Valve commented on the position as disclosed in the report, but stated that there was one other matter not mentioned in tho report, to which he would like to draw attention. This was in regard to the serious allegations of poor quality made by fish retailers of Christchurch. It was not a matter which they should take lying down, though it was certainly difficult to see how they could take it any other way.

Several members voiced strong opinions on this conduct, a boycott being suggested. Mr S. U. Kulent-Fish then requested the attention of the meeting: “In a local morning paper dated February 2, 1932, a long poem entitled “The Oyster Derby,’’ “An Unsolved Mystery,” appeared. This poem was written by Shaun O’Sullivan. I suggest that this be adopted as the Oyster Bay National Anthem.” Colonel Shell (a bucolic bivalve) : “What the heck do we want an anthem for?” The chairman: “Order! order!”

On a show of apertures being held, it was decided to write to the paper in question asking for free copies of the poem. A member described to the meeting the sad case of a man who had drunk whisky on top of oysters, with the result that all the oysters turned to leather.

Colonel Shell loudly declared that this was but a meet reward for one who treated Nature’s gifts so callously. He hoped that he was whisked by his own whisky. Other members expressed agreement with this charitable hope, and the meeting closed with a vote of thanks to the Rock. —CEC.