Shaun’s Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21658, 21 March 1932, Page 8

Shaun’s Patch

A little nonsense now and then I Is relished by the wisest men. : —Hudibras. I The question now is: Who opened the Bridge? * * * * And many people will think a sword is better than a pair of scissors. * * w * Said. Captain de Groot: “Though Langites may hoot The Premier did not cut the ribbon.” “I cut it,” said Lang, “And I don’t care a hang For a fellow who should have a bib. on.” EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence containing the word “immaculate”: “If immaculate for school, tell me.” Mr Frank Smythe, who reached the summit of Kamet in the Himalayas, proposes to attack Nanga Parbaq which is 1182 feet higher. Mr Smythe seems to have Excelsior as a slogan. * ♦ • ♦ The company was a failure — It was quite profitless— The prospectus compiler Said: “Now, one prophet less.” , When a Bridge fiend comes along, the old fashioned player says: “Whist, here comes the bogeyman.” An official explanation issued in connection with a new economic edict in Russia says: ‘ Constant menace of dismissal should induce hands to work harder. That argument has a familiar ring about it. * * * * A man set free from toil tyrannical By industry’s advance mechanical, Still finds this freedom not enjoyable When he is rendered unemployable. Suspended from a curve catenary Hung from handwork and machinery He curses all the feats of sciences In work-economy appliances. * * * * Gretna Green marriages require that the parties must stay in the district for a certain period before the ceremony over the anvil in the blacksmith’s shop can be performed. And yet in 1931 66,090 people paid for admission and there was, on the average, nearly one wedding a day. That says much for tradition, because all the romance has been taken away. A BALLADE OF BOWLS. A correspondent furnishes this: The sun is bright! The timber rolls! Behold the gaffers on the green, Their stooping backs, their snowy polls; Faith! ’tis a rare and honest scene! Here’s Jarge the fat, and John the lean. And Jimmy Duck and Tommy Knowles, AU the old gamesters, staunch and keen— Only the virtuous play bowls. On turf reclaimed from sapping moles Mild College Tutors, Don and Dean, One here, and here another strolls, At play beneath the branching treen; And heave the biassed orb, between Thin academic rigmaroles On All that Is or May have Been— Only the virtuous play bowls. So. when our land (which God controls) Was menaced by King Philip’s spleen, ’Mid guns and rocks, ’mid shots and shoals, Who ventured, with intrepid mien, And saved her? Nay, that Great Marine Who banged the Armada info holes, When good Elizabeth was Queen! Only the virtuous play bowls. Envoi. Captain! On Plymouth Hoe, serene, You played the game out. Ancient scrolls Declare it us, and this they mean:— Only the virtuous play bowls!