Shaun's Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21652, 14 March 1932, Page 6

Shaun's Patch

A little nonsense now and Is relished by the wisest men. —Hudibras.

The Economy Commission proposes that children sitting for the Proficiency Examination should pay a fee of 2/6 a head. I think Id for each of the weekly tests would also secure some more revenue for the Government. » » ♦ • Bishop Taylor Smith announcing that he was 70 years old, added “I am still fit enough to turn a somersault.” Sounds as if he were thinking of politics. * * • * Mr J. Moore has defined “depression” as “A period during which people do without things their parents never had.” I can hear one of the unemployed remark: “Our parents had work.” * * * ♦ EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence containing the word “decide” : “You should see decide he puts on.” * ♦ * * It is reported that in Tokio Lord Lytton of the League Commission stated he had received wonderful hospitality in Tokio but was looking forward to the Chinese version. ‘Teed me on facts” said Carlyle. * ♦ ♦ * It is in the wind that the Imperial Government will reduce the Air Force vote. » * * » The Economy Commission does not seem to have recommended that the expenditure on commissions be eliminated. * * * * An'American writer says: Because of their undistinguished appearance most marketers pass parsnips by without a thought. Although, when walking through the street, You recognize the silver beet, And even show that you can see The graceful contour of the pea, Don’t curl a snobby, upper class lip As you go by the modest parsnip. SOUTHLAND LIMERICKS. An American Theodore Dreiser In writing is never 'a meiser, But though lavish with words For the ignorant hords He invariably leaves them no weiser. THE INNOCENTS. She thought a piecew’orker was a delegate to the League of Nations. I hope the Government remembers when it tees off that there are axes in taxes. * * * * A pessimist thinks the world is against him. Why shouldn’t he? * * * * One cheerful soul has committed himself to this: If it wasn’t for the rain there wouldn’t be any hay to make when the sun shines. ♦’* * » THE OLD TIMERS’ RACE. Some of us were wise and stayed on land And with applause gave everyone a hand; Resolved to watch the task we had been set, With humour dry, and dodging any wet. Another veteran—-his crew beneath a hatch Found his moving vessel hard to catch, And though he found the bowsprit trim and staunch To dangle from dropped back into the launch. Then one, with knowledge of most every school, Of sailing, was determined to be cool, He would not stay content upon the deck But sank in water right up to the neck. And then before they’d given him a wring, he Took a header from the vessel’s dinghy, Declaring that he knew a hundred ways Of dealing with the missing of the stays. Biggs, the blighter, drew' the safest craft — How brightly up his sleeve he must hav« laughed— Especially when we said it wasn’t nice To have to hear a tumult of advice, For Biggs, and this no yachtsman will deny, Can’t, know a half as much as you or I; But that he won, or even kept afloat Was due to being in the safest boat. We’ve showed the youngsters many cunning tricks, With .spinnaker and jib; but one thing sticks, — We learned for us there is advantage ample To teach by precept rather th- a example.