Shaun’s Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21649, 10 March 1932, Page 8

Shaun’s Patch

A little nonsense now and then Is relished by the wisest men. —Hudlbrss.

One paper says that the ex-Emperor of China is “generally known as Mr Rhyl”; but I think Pu Yi would take it very ill ■ If someone called him Mr Phyl; And doubtless he would loudly cry: “Phyl'd to the teeth when I’m Pu Yi.” * * * , . * A correspondent sends me this one after an afternoon watching bowls: The most unpopular “sport”: The pot hunter at bowls. I suppose people like to see the pothunter dished. * * * * EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a' sentence containing the word “monoplane”: “I monoplane diet.” * * * * In a few years Australia will be talking about the old guard of the New Guard, and the New Guard will talk about its old Guard days. # # , Apropos of that In Town and Out. par about the young Oamaru man and his greasy paper specific against seasickness, the following is declared by a writer in an Australian publication to be an excellent remedy:— Anyone who follows these directions will not suffer the slightest ill-effects from the rolling of the ship in the roughest sea. Annoy the booking-clerk until he consents to give you a cabin in which your head will lie towards the stern. Five minutes before the ship sails, tip the steward to bring you a whisky and two lemons. Drink the whisky. Then pick up your luggage and walk ashore. This remedy has never been known to fail. But will it cure you of being sick of the sea? * » * * FAIR OFFER. This is taken from the “Lost and Found” column in an American paper: “Automobile. Top windshield cracked on left side; windshield scratched where wiper has been; right headlight glass broken; left fender split; right front wheel sprung and wobbles; taken night of 12th of May. Reward if returned in good condition.” ♦ * • * Said Bess: Three months ago I thought that Jim Was perfect. How I worshipped him! Now I detest him. Oh, it’s strange The way a man these days can change! FAMOUS BOATS. The Ark. ers. Hinemoa. The Same -. shed. ie. O ® ENTOMOLOGICAL. From London: (Menzies is pronounced Mingis). “Now isn't that sad?” cried Miss Menzies, “A wasp has sat down where the stenzies; Before I could speak It was there on my cheak, _ „ What a horrible bore the whole thenzies.”

This one from a Canadian paper is quoted for the benefit of those noble minds responsible for the arithmetical teasers. A grammar-school student was set , a question in an examination paper: “If 20 men reap a field in eight hours, how long will it take 15 men to reap the same field?” The student thought long and carefully before writing the answer, and when he handed in his paper this is what the examiner read: “The field having been reaped by 20 men could not be reaped by the 15!”