“SLIM JIM, SOIL, SYKES AND SERVICE.”

Southland Times, Issue 21649, 10 March 1932, Page 4

“SLIM JIM, SOIL, SYKES AND SERVICE.”

To the Editor. Sir.—The honour of my life has befallen me and so suddenly that it has knocked the breath out of me at the same time! You will see that, in acknowledging, with thanks, Slimmy’s letter in this morning's issue of the Times, I have added to the noble title selected by him as better fitting the fact that the letter was more in reply to mine of the 15th October, 1931, entitled as above in which I spoke quite nicely of him. His last effort is not worthy of his great reputation. The nut Slim Jim gives me to crack would not require a steam-hammer for the purpose for ho forgot to enclose any nut. A man depends on his breakfast, for something to eat, if there is no breakfast there is nothing to eat! Is that the proposition? The letter of Wednesday, to which he refers required no reply being not even a defence of “those Civil Servants,” who by the bye, are not allowed to defend themselves, but merely an earnest protest against the constant and perfectly unjustifiable attacks by a certain section upon an industrious and ever courteous body of gentlemen deserving not censure but the highest praise and admiration and men who have in no way invited such attacks from any quarter whatever. "Why does Jimmy charge me with “arrogance” and with being “sarcastic?” A poor, little inoffensive bread-and-milk chap like me!!! Oh! my Jimmy!! You are unkind.

By the bye! Whatever does the gentleman mean by “my little monument” ? Was he considering his latter end and did he see in visions clouded by ambition or selfesteem, a beautiful memorial erected to his memory with an inscription “Here lies poor Slim Jim, beloved by all his friends ami respected bj' even his —he had no enemies —He met his death by reason of a violent attack of cacoethes scribendi (King’s English). This monument was raised by ardent admirers and readers of the correspondence column of the Southland Times. Let him R.1.P.” I issued no challenge, and no one knows than better than Slim Jim, but, I can assure you, sir, it takes a good deal more pluck for me to decline that thrown at me by Jimmy than it would have done to accept it, though of course, it would have been another case of the Pigmy and the Giant. There are other people to consider, however, and probably some are tired of this already. At any rate I am not quite ass enough to box a man sailing under a pseudonym (Kung’s English, Shmmy). “Top-hat-staff.” I think I can guess what the writer means— “Grey” and “Brown”’ and here too I am sure that I follow though of course I have not gone quite as far as Jimmy with the King’s English. Still I hope to improve under his tuition. I notice from the title to his letter that he is fond of alliteration like many other of our poets who have equally with Jimmy wrapped up the most beautiful ideas. But. “No!” Jimmy. Not this time. There must be something wrong with your bait or tackle, for there is no bite. —I am etc., ARTHUR E. SYKES.