Shaun’s Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21578, 16 December 1931, Page 6

Shaun’s Patch

A little nonsense now and then la relished by tbs wisest men. —Hudibrss.

Mr Downie Stewart’s writings do no suggest that he is a humourist.

Wha*t Britain "wants is a sovereign remedy. * * * * A statue of Lenin 349 ft high is being made in Russia. A tall order, but evidently the Soviet is anxious to impress the Russian people with Lenin's greatness. Of course, it will be something to look up to. ♦ * * * SOUTHLAND LIMERICKS. There was a young lady called Mary Who thought she was light as a fairy'; When she started to dance The men took a glance And held to opinions contrary. * * * * There is one bowler who is seeking the identity of someone. Last night after his game he found on the seat of his car a slip of paper on which appeared: Park your scrap iron somewhere else. « * * ♦ EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence containing “doiley”: “Doiley bird catches the worm. ’ * ♦ * * * Although they read about “keep that schoolgirl complexion,” the boys prefer their coats without powder, rouge and cold cream. * * * * “I'm feeling run down” said Jones, as he tried to decipher a disappearing number. * » * * There is no truth in the rumour that as an aid to a trade revival barbers are putting hair restorer in shaving water. * * * * If you really wish to find out the virtues of a safety razor blade just ask a man who hones one. *ADD POPULAR FICTION * No. of miles per gallon. No. of gals per smile. No. of shaves per razor blade. No. of strokes per hole. But I’m still convinced that dentists deliberately pick holes in their victims. * * * * MAIL ADVICE. A little woman is a dangerous thing. There’s safety in numbers. The only place where objection is raised to the slogan “strike while the iron is hot’’ is in a laundry. A young husband objected to his wife making pastry because she was too weak for such heavy work, and now he’s wondering if he hadn’t overestimated her weakness. A little learning is a usual thing. * * * * There are some people quite content And they’ll inform you quick, But others you will often find Are just too tired to kick. THE ECONOMY LOVER. “How much do you love me?” He beard his sweetheart plead, And looking at her answered: “Just how much do you need?*