DAZZLING OPENING

Southland Times, Issue 21227, 30 October 1930, Page 8

DAZZLING OPENING

MONTE CARLO FAIR

TRANSFORMATION OF DRILL HALL RAID ON KING ROLLUP Those who were sceptical concerning the magnitude of Monte Carlo Fair must have hart all their doubts shattered when they entered the Drill Hall last evening. The immense hall was transformed into a palace of pleasure with the most novel and entrancing games, reminiscent of the Dunedin Exhibition, occupying, all the lateral space. Overhead were artistic decorations’ and in the centre of the hall beautiful arbours and a grand aisle added considerably to the general effect. Near the entrance an arch of triumph provided a fitting entry for all the energetic personages taking part in the opening. At. the far end was a dainty stage. When the official and unofficial openings took place there were many hundreds of people in the hall and many more entered during the next hour. There was no mistaking the intense enjoyment both young and old’ derived from the ingenious games of skill arrayed around the hail. So captivating were they that many patrons returned time and again to strive for the huge boxes of chocolates that went to the successful competitors.

Each of the princesses had well laden stalls from which purchasers could not. only enrich themselves materially, but assist the damsel of their choice. All four stalls did excellent business during the evening. The games went ’by such entrancing names as “Bubbles,” “The Derby,” “Pot ’eras,” “Tile Dollies,” “Monte Poker,” ‘Tish Pools,” “Chocolate Wheel” and “The Dental Clinic.” In the last-named game teeth had to be removed by skilfully divised balls. There was also a “Palace of Illusion” wherein many mirrors wrought amazing changes in stature and in physiognomy. Official Opening. At 7.30 p.m. the Fair was officially opened by his Worship the Mayor (Mr .1. D. Campbell). Mr W. C. Denham, chairman of the Monte Carlo Fair executive, briefly introduced his Worship. Mr Denham referred to (he very large amoifnt of work the officials of the Fair had undertaken to ensure it.s success. He also warmly 1 hanked the Mayor for being gracious enough to open the Fair. His Worship said that he was astounded at Ihe transformation that had taken place in the Drill Hall. He had not thought it. possible that so many beautiful stalls could be so effectively arranged. It spoke volumes for the enthusiasm and ability of those responsible. He hoped that it would be the financial success it deserved to be. The Fair had as its principal object the raising of funds to purchase a complete set of new uniforms of which the band were much in need. It was also hoped to be able to buy some new instruments. Some of the present instruments were 18 years old. The band oh many occasions gave pleasure to the public gratuitously and the least the people of Invercargill, and Southland could do was to patronize the effort now being made. “I have great pleasure in declaring the Fair open,” concluded his Worship, “and I trust, that it will prove even more successful than its promoters hope and that at the end of the tenth day sufficient funds will be in hand to enable the band to buy both uniforms and instruments.” Unofficial Opening. Shortly after Ihe official opening was over there was the blare of music outside the hall and with lhe Civic Band at their I head King Rollup and Queen Roulette of Monte Carlo, together with their suite, who had arrived by the Myth plane that afternoon, were driven through lhe arch of triumph and escorted to the stage. The King was a most imposing figure in his robes of ermine and the Queen looked charming in a flared frock. The Mayor of Inverkegvillc then addressed his Majesty as follows: “Most illustrious and grubby-looking Majesties, as Chief Citizen of this sunny city, it. is my extremely painful duty to don my magnificent, mayoral robes and attend here to-night to express to you the keen regret experienced by my fellow citizens at your presence in this the heavenly portion of God’s Own Country, to which has been given, ironically, the name of ‘Southland.’ It is realized that no casino or other gambling establishment can hope for any measure of success unless officially opened by the most disreputable monarch or other big pot available. That is therefore the sole reason for the invitation to you to be present and adequately explains the tolerance of the citizens in permitting you to even breathe with them the same air. My fellow citizens having learned of the evil proclivities of you anil your subjects, had no hesitation in deciding that for wickedness and general depravity, you and your ugly consort, in common parlance, take the cake. The risk of our being contaminated is undoubtedly grave, but the citizens of this city were ever foolhardy, being true to the reckless Scottish blood that courses through their veins. For what is contamination, compared with lhe bawbees to be won in a properly opened casino? We insist upon our little Hutter ■ —and without bringing to your royal cheeks further modest blushes, 1 now call upon his Most Gracious and Bibulous I Majesty King Rollup of Monte Carlo to open this Fair and as quickly as possible thereafter to take his rusty cobbers and clear out.” King's Address. “People of this sinful city,” said King Rollup, “we have listened with considerable satisfaction to the words of welcome and personal praise extended to us on your behalf by your ill-chosen and impertinent chief citizen. Were it. not. for the fact that, we have travelled so many miles by air to open this Fair nothing would prevent our swooning with leelings of gratification, unless it. be the grave risk of having our royal pockets ‘ratted’ by the savage and barbarian Scots who terrorize this showery city; and thus preclude us from participating in the national game of our kingdom—a little Hutter. Reports | of the poverty of your Civic Band have reached our Ministers from our Secret Service agents, and we have also learned of the admirable manner which it has been decided to adopt to ameliorate that unhppy financial state of affairs. Indeed my subjects have been far from loth to place at your disposal the benefit of their long and varied experience with the gambling vice. We rely upon your assurance that no interference with our royal persons may be expected from the local constabulary, whose palms, you say, have been well greased. We therefore graciously declare this Monte Carlo Fair open for the purposes of rookery and general spieling. May every winner receive a ‘dinkum’ box of chocolates and come back to the slaughter anew; may every worker give a true and faithful account of the blood-money extracted by him from the pockets of the long-suffering public; may the bank be not broken or bust; and may the Civic Band reap a profit, of many hundreds of pounds. Let my skinflint Lord Chancellor—he with the criminal face —now announce the names and tit les of those unworthy creatures of your city, upon whom we are graciously pleased tobestow our favour.” Various honours were then bestowed by the Chancellor (Lord Hamandeggs). A bouquet of choice weeds was then presented to her Majesty by Baby Doreen Thomson. King and Queen Arrested. Then came a sensation. Fierce-looking policemen under Sergent. Slim, all armed with “straw babies” for batons, strode upon the stage and arrested the King and Queen and their suite.

Sergeant Slim read the following warrant :—

"WHEREAS it appears that the City of Inver-gargle has from time immemorial borne a character and reputation beyond reproach and the vice of gambling has never been practised except in a furtive manner AND WHEREAS complaint has been made to me with oaths by leading citizens of the said city, including the silent policeman, that Rollup, the reigning monarch of the Kingdom of Monte Carlo accompanied by members fo his court, has arrived in the said city by air and proposes to introduce and encourage certain nefarious gambling practices, AND WHEREA'S it further appears that the citizens of the said city will not receive a ‘fair go’ at the hands of the said Rollup, THIS IS THEREFORE TO COMMAND YOU to take the said Rollup and all persons appearing to be connected with his household and to remove such persons to the official mixing yards of the corporation of the said city, there to boil such persons in a leisurely manner in the hot-mix vats there erected and to take the fatty solution resulting from such leisurely boiling and spread the same upon that part of the street in the said city known as Tay street