Shaun’s Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21195, 23 September 1930, Page 8

Shaun’s Patch

A little non, cbm now »“ a thcn I. nlUbcd by the —Hudibras.

Russia is bearing the wheat market. That’s appropriate! » * * « The inventor of ping-pong has died. He was the founder of a big engineering firm —News item. A man may build in iron or steel _ . But they’re not strong enough for fame. More permanent if he has writ His name upon a favoured game. * * *. # There’s money in whales, we .are told; but sometimes we also hear the wails of those who think there’s money in whales. “Eclipse of the Sun.” That heading had nothing to do with the Auckland newspaper which was recently Starred. ’ » , * * « The Americans ■ won the Dewar Trophy for miniature rifle shooting. Naturally a team from the Dry States would seek that bauble. * * * * EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Consider this sentence: “See if the cow is in the paddock.” What mood? The cow, of course. * * * * I notice that someone has said, arguing by analogy, that if the plural of “mouse” is “mice,” the plural of “spouse” must be “spice.” I suppose bigamy. * * * a Give a sentence containing the word “mannequin”: “A mannequin eat a lot.” * * » » FAMOUS TESTS. The Fifth - Con . 4.8 y. — ator. A . De . imony. La . Wet . * ♦ » * THE OPTIMIST SPEAKS. (I am a doleful pessimist.—Remark made by 1.M.) I.M’s. mind is on a list, ■ "About the cheery optimist. Now does dear I.M. mean to say, He does not like our dances gay, Where maids do step and wheel and twirl, y Where men adroitly gyre and whirl, Where music rises high and low, Where couples flutter to and fro, Where gleaming lights play over all, Does not he hear quick music’s call? And does dear I.M. mean to say, He does not like a holjday, To sit beside the breakers grand, To watch the sea roll to the land. To go to Mount Cook’s fresh keen air, To visit Rakiura fair, • Now come 1.M., with all your graces, Do you not like these fairy places? Oh! life is just one round of pleasure, Of jovous days and nights of leisure. —From G.G. **. * * BALLAD GO-GETTERS. I hate to Be a kicker, I always long for peace, But the wheel that does the squeaking is the one that gets the grease. —Sanford Herald. You tell ’em, kid—you’re peaceful and not too hard to please, But the dog that’s always scratching is the one that has the fleas. —Miami Tribune. “I hate to be a kicker” means nothing in a show; The kicker in the chorus is the one that gets the dough. —Youngstown Telegram. The art of soft-soap-spreading is a thing that palls and stales, But the guy who wields the hammer is the one who drives the nails. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. The knocker as a patriot may be considered poor; But when you knock you’ll often find that someone opes the door. ' —Me.