Shaun's Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21194, 22 September 1930, Page 8

Shaun's Patch

A little nonsenM now »nd th«n Is relished by the wisest men. —Hudlbrss.

There was certainly something mechanical in the way Enterprise won. * * * * A man who has an open mind may have nothing to close it on. * w * * Sun sets in Auckland. You can see the Star better after that. * -X- * * EDUCATIONAL AIDS. W.K.: has this: Give a sentence with “intensify” in it. I’ll have to'sleep intensify go camping on the beach. ,»* * * Civilization: An appreciation of the value of money. Banking: Aids to turning a sharp corner. Currency: Electric light. Exchange: Conservatism. * * * * Ex change: A Scot on a tram. » •» * » Some people have an idea that a free country is one which doesn’t pay a tyranny. .ft «• «• . * Comment from W.K.: State premiers in Australia complain that while they are cutting down expenditure the Federal Government fails to economise.. It seems there is still waste in the Scullinary Department. * * MODERN PROVERBS. Waist not; want not. » * * * The early settlers are always popular with business people. * # * * THE INNOCENTS. She thought an Art Society ran the arteries. * * * * Mr H. A. Knight’s racehorse Limerick has won about £40,000 in stake money so W.K. twangs his guitar: Of Limericks snappy and bright Which fill fun-loving folks with delight Some are priceless it’s true. . .. But the best of the brew Is owned by a sportsman named Knight. Parsimony: Bombay native’s cash. From W.K.: A Palmerston North resident fell asleep in the municipal library the other night and was locked in till 11 o’clock. That ■ should teach him that Hansard is really a bedside book. * * * * A BATTLE OF THE SEXES. Every* morning when I dress And shove my tootsies through my pants, No one, I’m sure, would ever stress The fact that these my form enhance; And there are times, in early morn, When I endorse that firm disdain Of those who say men are too plain In clothes and should themselves adorn. ‘Tis then I nearly drain the dregs Of hopelessness, with horrid thoughts Of men in public with my legs Exposed because’l dress in shorts. Just think the price, if we’ve to deck Ourselves to emphasize our charms, We’d have to wash and shave our arms And put cold cream upon the neck! And when we went into the city In fondant pink or ciel blue, The manager would say: “How pretty That Paris model looks on you,” While we with telling modesty Would says “A cheap thing that I found And though it was marked at a pound I got it, dear, for three and three.” The boss who went out to the club To have a quiet hand or two, Or motored to the country pub To put a little business, through, Would be discovered, without fail, If he had work or.none to do, In combat with the women who Do battle at a bargain sale.