Shaun’s Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21073, 3 May 1930, Page 8

Shaun’s Patch

A little nonsense now and then Is relished by the wisest men. —Hudibmx.

This calendar reformation is coming in sooner than expected, or else the calendar makers are flurried. I have just torn from one produced in Southland the sheet for the last month which showed Thursday as April 31. An extra da'- in April Is good if it’s a pay day But first of all we must find out What will the shortened May say. * * * * The cotton industry blames short skirts for bad trade, owing to women discarding petticoats. Of course, in these matters it is always necessary to take the long view. The man who blames the girl’s attire, And this I much regret, he Seems to overlook the fact The argument is petti. * * « ♦ A well-turned angle: Sprained. A MILD PROTEST. Sometimes when I’m feeling blue I can only think of you, And yet how bright the world would be But for the modern melody. I’d stand the modern song, I think If sometimes it would rhyme in pink, Or if instead, a noble boon! It could put more faith in tune. * * * * First Golfer (on Queen’s Park fairway) : “Why didn’t you call out ‘Fore’ before you played that shot?’’ Second Golfer: “Well, I wanted to see if it would hit anyone first!” I notice that Gandhi’s arrest, is imminent. Perhaps in that case his campaign will be given arrest. * * # * A contemporary in “an authoritative agricultural review” refers to Chewings, Fescue and Brown Top’’ and announces that these seeds are not causing any excitement and prices are merely speculative. I presume the chewings remain after the fescue and brown top have been stripped. * * * * From C.S.: Enthusiast (to friend, watching BluesPirates match) : “Well, what do you think of this?” Friend: “Not bad. But I still like football better.” « # * * TWO POINTS OF VIEW. The modern young man Ere the maid’s hand he took, Asked her if she Knew the right way to cook. The maiden replied: “Before I am hooked, Can you guarantee There'll be things to be cooked?” TOMBSTONE JINGLES. Here lies the body Of Ebenezer Stone Who started to study A bass saxophone. 1930 SIMILES. As inartistic as the fingerprints of the office boy on my best notepaper. *'* * * As heavy as half-cooked apple-dumpling. As dry as the reports of dog-trials. Scratch a Russian Grand Duke and you get—the Cream of Tartar. c , * * * Will bridge ever go out of fashion ? No, there is always the last trump to look forward to. i * ♦ * Two rights never make a wrong. Shoes? ■* * * * SOUTHLAND LIMERICKS A fellow applied a strong boot To the seat of another’s new soot, But he found it was hard — Number Two as a guard Wore a spike studded plate. 0 the broot!