The Cousins' Competitions

Southland Times, Issue 21073, 3 May 1930, Page 22

The Cousins' Competitions

AWARDS IN THE 232nd TEST. (a) Description of a cat sitting in front of the fire (for Cousins under 16). Not more than 300 words. First-prize—s/- and 4 marks to Cousin Hazel Stewart (15) 270 Ythan Street, Invercargill. Second prize—2/6 and 3 marks to Cousin Jeannie Braid (13) Lumsden. Highly Commended. —2 marks to Cousins Betty McDonald (13) 417 Elies Road, South Invercargill; Noreen Dicks (9) 122 O’Hara Street, South Invercargill; Nola Mitchell (12) 41 Nelson Street, Enwood. Commended. — 1 mark to Cousins Dulcie Bell (.1-4) Bayswater; Jean Nichol (14) 166 Clyde Street, Invercargill; Jean Hunter (14) Ohai; Margaret Macarthur 11) Ohai; Nancy Stevens (12), Otapiri, Balfour. (b) Poem (for Cousins 12 and under) about a fly. Prize of a/- and 4 marks to Cousin Nancy Rowan (11) Otautau. Highly Commended. —2 marks to Cousins Margaret Macarthur (11) Ohai; Hazel Gordon (11) Otatara; Rosemary Rowley (12) Clifden. COMMENTS. The descriptions of a cat sitting before a fire were not very well done, and I must certainly set you on to more descriptive work of this kind, to build up your ability along this line. The initial fault is in the matter of your tenses. You must remember, Cousins, that you must keep to the same tense throughout such descriptive passages. If you start to describe your cat in the past tense —it “was sitting” and “looked comfortable”—you must not lapse into the present—pussy “licks her fur” and “blinks at the sparks.” You must stick to one or the other; although I do think that in work of this kind the present tense is more effective. It is possible to obtain better results with it. Another thing—when you are asked for a description of an object, animate or inanimate, at a certain, time, do not ramble off on to a dissertation on what you know about it; stick to your point, which in this case is the description of a cat in a certain situation and at a certain time. One or two of you went so far as to wonder what pussy was thinking about—that is good; but none of you pursued the idea to any distance. There are so many things that can be conveyed through your manner of describing a thing; and through the way you described your cat I had hoped to discover some of your thoughts about it. That is, I wanted you to create an “atmosphere” round your cat. I’ll give you another opportunity.to try your hands at this kind of thing shortly. —COUSIN BETTY. I am giving only one prize in the junior poem section, because there are so few entries. I’m afraid most of you “turn up your noses” at the humble fly as the subject for a poem! But the competitors did very well indeed with it. Our new Cousin Nancy Rowan is a surprise with her first attempt at verse-making. Her poem “To a Fly” is delightful, and has a deft touch of humour in it. It ranks Nancy amongst the best of my junior poets already, and that says a very great deal! Cousin Margaret Macarthur has improved enormously of late as a verse-maker, both in. rhythm and rhyming. In a very short lime she will be making the prize-winners look to their laurels; but she must not sacrifice sense to secure .a rhyme—her second last line suggests that very thing. Cousin Hazel Gordon is making good progress, too, and also has a keen sense of humour. She will see that, “said” and “web” to not 'rhyme, however closely connected they sound! Her metre lacks syllables in nlaces. Cousin Rosemary Rowley has good ideas; but she does not write often enough to be able to express them to the best of her ability. —COUSIN BETTY .