Laughs

Southland Times, Issue 20615, 13 October 1928, Page 22 (Supplement)

Laughs

A RASH BET. Doctor: “You might have washed your foot. I will bet that there isn’t a dirtier foot in town!” Patient: “You have lost. You should see my other foot.” —Cousin Charles Edward Grace. CLEVER HENS. Mary had been round the farm and was watching her granny storing the eggs in the dairy. “If you want eggs to keep well,” said her granny, “they must be laid in a cool place.” “Oh!” said Mary, “fancy hens thinking of that,” —Cousin Noelene Masters.

—Second Prize.— Alcohol is still thought by the general public as a cardiac stimulant; but more and more medical men are proving that instead of increasing the efficiency of the heart it considerably decreases the heart’s / efficiency. It also causes the brain to / act more slowly, thereby causing loss of time I for a message to rhe brain cannot be grasped instantly. When injury is received by the body and the system is poisoned with alcohol the white corpuscles in the blood do not respond so quickly to the call of the injured part. This often means that the disease-carrying germs gain the victory, and that the wound takes longer to heal because of alcohol. Athletes too, have found that alcohol is valueless to tjiem because it decreases the powers of the body and leaves it weaker. It does not make stronger as some people think. Alcohol is the downfall of the human race. It ruins men, women, and even little children. The powers of self-restraint are lessened too and men ill-treat their wives and children and rob them of their rights. Sadder still, mothers sometimes fall the victims of drink and then the children of their own flesh and blood are often illtreated and starved. The inhabitants of Iceland are about the cleverest and healthiest race in the world. The reason for this is that not a drop of alcohol of any kind is allowed to be brought into the country. The boys take part in many learned debates. If alcohol was kept out of New Zealand the younger generation would be a cleverer and a healthier race than that of Iceland. Alcohol is one of the commonest causes of insanity, epilepsy, paralysis, diseases of the liver and stomach, dropsy, and tuberculosis. A father or mother who drinks, poisons the children born to them so that many die in infancy while others grow up as idiots and epileptics. If alcohol had not found its way into the country, and so into the bodies of men and women the human race would be stronger and healthier, and healthier, happier minds would be developed. Then would the country flourish. Even now if the rising generation with the help of their elders will only try to rid the world of drink the world would flourish. But it will decline if alcoholic liquor is not abolished soon. With a clean country the slums would be transformed into respectable homes of cleanliness and comfort. Instead of

weak, scantily clad, starving children and parents there would be strong, well-clad, and well fed people. —Cousin Joyce Evans (14), 22 Melbourne Street, North Invercargill. —Highly Commended.— What is alcohol ? A composition of grape juice, sugar, etc., fermented. When any fruit juice is set aside for a few days it ferments, that is to say, in other words, it goes stale. Who would think of eating stale bread or rotten fruit, and yet men drink a great deal of this stale juice. When alcohol enters the stomach the glands swell and a large quantity of saliva is poured in. Much of this useful liquid is needlessly wasted, and consequently, the system has to work harder to manufacture more. If alcohol is taken after a meal the undigested food is toughened and the milk curdled, thus rendering it impossible for the organs to convert it into a passable liquid. More and more gastric juice is poured on and the stomach churns more slowly till the same happens to the liver as to the saliva glands. As the good food, mixed with alcohol, passes through the liver to be made into blood, the liver swells and becomes inflamed, and, being weakened, cannot do its work so well. When the alcohol passes into the blood it poisons it. “When we drink alcoholic beverages the effect is to poison our blood, and this makes the little red corpuscles unable to carry as much oxygen as usual, consequently our blood becomes impure and our health suffers,” says an article in The Challenge, Prohibition paper. The heart too is affected by strong drink and should be much guarded, for from it many diseases spring. Shortly after the taking of alcohol a vapour carrying the odour of the drink is given off. The brain becomes confused and the partaker is said to be in a state of intoxication. There are after-effects of drink. Warmth is felt during the time that the liquor is being taken, but the cold is felt more severely afterwards. “Alcohol as a stimulant abstracts strength from a man and excites but to exhaust,” said a well-known doctor in America. In concluding, I will say that alcohol is a curse to the land and is doing more than than any other strong drink is doing. —Cousin Annie Williamson (14), Balclutha.