The Cousins’ Competitions

Southland Times, Issue 20538, 14 July 1928, Page 10 (Supplement)

The Cousins’ Competitions

AWARDS IN THE 161st TEST. (a i Poem, for Cousins under 16, entitled ’’The Song of the Wind in the Trees.” First Prize. —5/- and 4 marks to Cousin James Bolting (13'. “Terry Hill,” Woodlands. Second Prize. —2/6 and 3 marks to Cousin I- a Robertson (14 . 110 Chelmsford street, North Invercargill. Highly Commended.—2 marks to Cousins Gwen Irwin (15), “Elderslie,” Lochiel; Annie Williamson (13), Baldutha; Mabel Wright (161, Makarewa; May Heath (12), Dunrobin. Commended —1 mark to Cousin Betty Wilson (14 1, 111 William street, South Invercargill. (bl Description, for all Cousins 14 and over, of "Happiness.” First Prize—s/- and 4 marks to Cousin Daisy Ward (17), Awarua Plains. Second Prize—2/6 and 3 marks to Cousin Isobel Strang (14), Alma street, Wyndham. Highly Commended—2 marks to Cousins Eileen Mclntosh (17), 40 Princess street, Enwood; Catherine Thomson (16', 37 Reuben Avenue, Brooklyn. Wellington; Mabel Wright (16<, Makarewa; Mollie Burn (15), 94 Duke street, Gladstone. COMMENTS. (a) This was another week, Cousins, when the work was particularly good, especially the prose section. Some of the poems sent in were finely done, but not a clear conception of the subject, which was “The Song of the Wind in the Trees.” Now, Cousin James Botting was the only competitor w’ho kept strictly to what was required of him and wrote as if the wind were speaking. The rest of you wrote very effectively on the song sung by the wind in the trees, but no other of you thought to let the wind speak for itself. That is why, therefore, Cousin James really had no competition for first place—in both of his songs he was the wind. One of the best poems sent in was written by Cousin Isa Robertson, whose verse-making is showing marked progress lately. Her song is rhythic enough to be really a song, and both its rhyming and metre swing easily. The first of the two poems sent in by Cousin Gwen Irwin is the better, although both are very good. Gwen worked out and followed up her idea well, and her originality is developing. She must not be satisfied to use two words of the same sound but of diffeernt spelling as rhymes, as “hear” and “here.” Cousin Annie Williamson wrote a rather sad song to, not of, the wind. There is not enough triumph in her lines I think; though there are many times when the wind’s song in the trees is a sad one. “Gush” seems to me an ugly word in such a place. Cousin Mabel Wright, who has been silent for some time, lifts her voice to advantage once more, as far as I can remember this being one of her best pieces of work for a long time. Cousin May Heath’s p?em falls away somewhat in the last verse, whose metre is shaky. A new competitor, Cousin Betty Wilson, is showing great promise. Her poem is thoughtful, with strong marks of originality about it. She must learn to base her rhymes on the simplest words, however—“chorus” and “before us” are not good, and “origin” and “foraging” cannot be permitted. The merits of the poem are sufficient to make me very hopeful, however, for this Cousin’s future as a verse-maker. (b) The descriptions of “Happiness,” though few, were amazingly good, and show a development of thoughtfulness and ingenuity which I found very gratifying. My chief complaint about them is that they contain too much fine writing. On that I

feel obliged to put my foot down gently but very firmly. Remember, Cousins who are growing up, that simplicity is the keynote of art. Nature, the personification of art, is simple Look at the flowers the trees—gaze on one of her pastoral scenes or her sea-scapes —the sublime thing about them is their beautiful simplicity, by which their colours are blended and their effects contrasted. Big words are not simple; unless you cannot honestly substitute smaller ones of the same meaning, avoid them. If there are two ways of Saying a thing, choose the simpler. You will find it is, at the same time, the more effective. Don’t you think that “bird’s” sounds much better than “feathered songsters?” Yet how many of you would chose the latter! And when you are indulging in fine writing, Cousins, take care that you understand what you are writing. Don’t let the sound of the words entice you to sacrifice sense. Cousin Daisy Ward and Cousin Isobel Strang did not indulge in “fine writing,” and therefore their words rang truer and their sense was less involved. I think, too, that, unhampered by thoughts of fine sounds, they were able to concentrate more on ideas. I enjoyed the work of both very much, and was particularly pleased with that of the younger Cousin. The former’s prose is improving. I can see her ideas expanding and her perception developing. Here is a practical Cousin who looks about her, assimilates knowledge and experience, and sensation, and stores these up for future use. She uses admirable discretion not oqly in her choice of word, but in her treatment of subject. One accepts what she has to say about happiness with confidence, and that, after all, is the greatest praise 1 could give her. Cousin Isobel Strang is improving tremendously both in style and idea. I liked the natural tone of her description, coupled with its practicableness. Cousin Eileen Mclntosh indulged in a very fine piece of writing indeed—but what does it all mean? “Intangible something” is as hackneyed as “feathered songsters,” and I have never solved it all the years I have come across it. And I do not agree with her that happiness comes only to “those who have sought it, earned it, and eventually won it through real service.” Happiness is a gift some people are born with; but it can be deliberately acquired through one’s understanding of oneself. Despite this rather stringent criticism, however, I detect a development in Eileen which makes me very anxious to see further work of hers soon. Cousin Catherine Thomson’s description, •hough dainty and effective, is too fanciful, and reveals nothing, nor does Cousin Mabel Wright’s, a less beautiful piece of work. And, please, what on earth does Cousin Mollie Burn mean? When is she coming to the description? Her entry reminds me of nothing so much as a cubist drawing—l never could understand them! —COUSIN BETTY. 162nd COMPETITION (a) For Cousins under 16. A dialogue of one scene entitled “The Happy Ending." (b) For Cousins under 16. Verse (humorous preferred) of four lines to advertise “Stubb’s Chick Food.” REMEMBER THE RULES. 1— Write in ink on one side of the paper onl.y 2 There must be separate sheets for each competition. 3 Each Cousin must work unaided, and enter his or her own work. 4 Drawing must be in black ink, preferably Indian ink. 5 Each entry must show the name and address of the Cousin and age. 6 No one more than sixteen years of age may compete in these classes unless otherwise stated. —Closing date MONDAY. JULY 16, 1928. —COUSIN BETTY. 163rd COMPETITION (a) Write a letter of not more than 300 words to a friend in the North Island, in answer to a statement she made in her last letter to you that she could never accept