Shaun’s Patch.

Southland Times, Issue 19172, 16 February 1924, Page 9

Shaun’s Patch.

‘‘A Little Nonsense Now and Then.”—Hudibras.

Lying Low: Filling in one’s income for the Tax Commissioner. “Barracker” seems to suggest that the S.RF.U. has been contracting bad habits. But if all the questions are answered how interesting will be that annual meeting! By making a small charge for admission the Union might obtain something to help carry the financial load which is not yet securely placed. When the U.S. Senate has finished its investigations, the leaders of the Republicans will probably say that oil is required to oil the party machine. Will one of the results of running the railways on business lines be that deputations to the Minister will cease? It looks as if Mr Coetes visited Dunedin and Invercargill for an express purpose. I noticed the other day that someone referred to Thomas A. Beckett, reminding me thereby of Patrick O. Brien, John A. Dreams and Thomas A. Kempis. MORE FICTION* I laid rny second dead. Mother, he’s only a friend. My dear, that hat suits you beautifully. We welcome investigation; we have nothing to hide. We arc selling this at less than cost. The absence of the member for Invercargill when deputations were waiting ->n a Minister with reference to local needs was unfortunate but not unusual. The first five years of peace are evidently (he hardest. • • * e • MINE OWN PEPYS. February 9 —Lay late reading a book until the telephone did rouse me so that I must shiver in my pyjamas as someone asks me explain one of my quips. On my complaining to Mrs Shaun she to say that my language at times be not as lucid as she would like. To the links and there to joust with the president and a left-handed fellow, I playing with my physician. This be a bad day for us since he do smash a club and to cause a blue haze to collect at this spot. But I did make one drive concerning the which I shall speak to my friends these many days. After this, we being four down the while and like to be worse, iny physician with craft did recall an appointment with a sick person and so we did withdraw from the game without defeat and with no loss of honour. A skillful player he be and I must note his tactics that I also may rise in the sport. At night I to some musical fellows where we did talk at length and sing lustily. And so to bed with content. February 11 —Up betimes and to the courts where I did play with mighty vigour but with indifferent success, concerning the which 1 shall say nothing further. This day I be very sore, having visited Colac Bay there to glean blue cod fresh won from the sea but to feed the sandflies with more generosity chan I care to reveal. Mrs Shaun doth assure me that ammonia applied to the. places will bring me relief but this I to do with indifferent success, so that I mentally resolve 1 will not further provide pasturage for these beasties. To the city • and to hear that the County Engineer be concerned that he standing in a pothole on the North Road be unseen by passers and that he will inspect the road some day that his council may learn of its condition. This to my great pleasure since it showeth my writing be read by the highly placed. February 12—This day I do learn from the newsprints of yesterday, the which I be late in scanning, that the Chief hath purchased two sections of the Bainfield Estates at which there have been great rejoicing among the knowing ones of the St. Andrew’s Society Council. It appeareth that there be a rumour that on the land there be an intention to erect a Scottish Hall for the Society’s meeting, that rent may be saved. Situate exactly midway twixt the rest house (corner of Bay and North Roads and the Hospice of the Weary at Wallacetown Junction and close to the Aerodrome, in which many have still some interest, the knowing ones do see possibilities in the way of hurried flights during suitable intervals in the evening’s entertainment. Privily I have knowledge that they do in the meantime purpose lying low to let the scheme proceed thusly ensuring the fruition of thoir nefarious designs. A wicked business that I warn the Chief of only that I be pledged on mine honour not to reveal anything, not even to the Mackintosh. But what will be the outcome of it all I know not. February 13—Up betimes and to admonish my daughter that she disturb my slumbers by the washing of my face with a cloth designed for the polish of the floors. Mrs Shaun on hearing my complaint to say that Judith should not be blamed* in not knowing the difference. A queer remark, the sense of which I do not yet see. News today that the men of Hokonui do heartily approve of the Bainfield Scottish Hall scheme and will support it tho’ all be sworn not to reveal the underlying motif. A sorry business of which I do pray the Chief will have information an’ he will deal with the villainy to good purpose. February 14 —Abroad early and to my writing that I may catch up my arrears. This day I be pleased at the interest displayed by my daughter in sewing, she to uncork all Mrs Shaun’s bottles of beads, some twenty of them, and to mix the bead. I to say that this be a sign that she will be a good mixer but Mrs Shaun replying that my humour groweth dull, I to the office. February 15—To the city where I did learn that next week there be purposes brave doings at the Borstal to gain money for the band and gymnasium. A goodly object the which I will support. Comes there a man who doth complain that our Josiah not being with us the Secretary, my Lord Coates doth put it all over our deputations so that they be discomfited. I to explain that it being the custom for Josiah to give the town a fair run on its own when there be local business doing, he to depart to purchase sackcloth and ashes. To my office and there to my stint, after which to bed, very tired and fearing a sickness for which I must to-morrow take physicka*

The ideal of a toreador is to remain neat and not gored.

The idea every man in a religious fight has of an opponent is that he is meat and not Gawdy. ***** When Miss Annie Ford married Henry A. Miles an American newspaper man put on the news item as a headline “More Miles to the Gal.” Which was neat and not gaudy. *THE SA*LOR'S LAMENT.* The sailor sat in his old home town A low moan moan ed he; “O I have letters here from maids Who once made love to me. “The one she writes from Yucatan, Another from Hawaii, While Esther’s note from Vera Crur Now meets my gleaming eye. ‘From Liverpool sweet Mary writes, And Coralie from Brest, While from the shore at Iquique Scrawls Isobel with zest. “My Rosa from old Rotterdam Writes to me ev’ry mail, And Cho-Chq-San of Kobe senda A picture neat and pale. ‘Fair Ruth of Melbourne ne’er forgets To pen a cheerful line, While Jean who looks on Table Bay At writing still can shine. “The mail from Santiago brings A chit from Helena And Thursday comes a missive from The Maid of Malabar. “But think of what this means to ma, How I do get the pip— With all these maids who wait for me And I can’t get a ship.” Modesty: One way of attracting attention. The Blues: A new form of dancing, sol called because that’s what you get trying to dance ’em. If we get. many more thunderstorms wa will be able to talk about the Tides ofi March. • * • • • Up at the Dunsdale the municipal party set out to find a waterfall which was known, to exist up there. After some tramping in the warm sun the jJlayor got despondent; and finally announced that he didn't sen it. Then he added: “I don’t hear it either.” And when a young newspaper man murmured that it was probably working in committee none of the councillors seemed, to see any humour in the remark. The Isles of Greece, the Isles nf Greece Where some day there’ll be local peace, • • • • • Mr Howard Carter is evidently going to give Tutankhamen’s mummy as long run as possible. ***** I notice that Rasponi who died in Soathi Africa and afterwards in Italy is to sing in Australia and New Zealand again shortly* You can keep a good man—Good heavens | I nearly said “You can’t keep a good man _ down!” HOW WIDELY TRAVELLED! A paragraph in the papers recently raids Mr F. Stubbs, F.R.G.S., the well-known! traveller, who has been on a short visit to, Invercargill, will defiver an address in St< Paul’s Presbyterian Church night on “The Nature and Conditions of Life Beyond the Grave.” CAUGHT. Rain! O Rain ! Down comes the shower again! And I am filled with sorrow and dismay It rained last evening as it rained to-dayfc How terrible is rain! A tear, alas! how vain! This rain which penetrates your clo's, Soaks through your hat and drippeth your nose. It patters on the path, and turns to mu<( the dust. It seems as if the dams of Paradise hav(| bust. But what of this? Nought is amiss, If man can feel for storms he is His waterproof quite ready and well And for his feet, as water swiftly washes The gutters, his two trusty old goloshes. A sudden burst But quite the worst That we have known in many years, And now 1 am dissolved in tears, Reduced to sadness knowing no respite, Just as I was reduced on yesternight. No warning came! A single flame Of lightning, then the wet. O bitter rue! A swift regret! A tear is bursting in my throbbing throat I’m caught again without my oVercoat. Editorial wisdom recently announced: What we require is not less taxationbut payment in accordance with to pay. If this system were adopteil there would be no complaint from anyj quarter that the burden was excessive. Can you beat this for sublime optimism 4 Has anybody ever heard of any taxation, that was not excessive in some quarter i, FABLES IN SOUTHLAND.* Of the Frugal Fellow Who Lost More Than He Saved. Once Upon a Time it was possible Clap Eyes on a Chap who, though he waM not called Close, was certainly a Frugal Fellow and he went Sniping. Tho Very! Same Day there was down on the ;;po4 a Breezy Official who was Dogged by bati luck and Devoted His Day to stalking aomei Wise Snipe that had just Got the Range, so that they kept out of Deadly Distance, When the Breezy one was sitting down to a Well Earned Rest, the Frugal Fellow*' happened along and Piped the Snipe. Ha declared with emphasis that They weraj His and the Tired Official who Knew a, Thing- or Two bet him a level Quidlet ha would not bag a Snipe. The F.F. v.‘h» had had a great day and was in Luck, toolc, it up. He stalked in fine style but Without Avail and without a bird. Then a stray* Blew Across and the Frugal one let He wpunded the Snipe and to save another Cartridge he chased the Game so as toi Clutch it, but it kept up of Reach until it Crossed the Bows of the Official vhrt promptly Loused Off and Nailed It, thun ' Snooping a Snipe from the Frugal One and Doing him out of the Lucre at the sama time. Moral; Thrift is not always (