Just Like a Man

Southland Times, Issue 14333, 29 April 1899, Page 1 (Supplement)

Just Like a Man

‘lsn’t that baby of ours gifted with high intelligence ?’ ‘I should think it was about time you saw that. Every one else has known it for months. Everybody says that he’s the finest baby they ever saw.* ‘Physically ?’ ‘Every way.’ •Does he know anything ?’ ‘How can you ask such a question ? He knows everything.’ ' ‘When you say he knows everything you mean that he has some sort of dim consciousness of the scenes and objects around him.’ ‘I mean that he actually knows. He knows as well as you or I.’ ‘Do you suppose that he knows the difference between right and wrong as well, for instance, as Ponto does ?’ ‘Oh, please, don’t compare your own child to a dog.’ ‘Ponto is four years old. He’s very bright, and he certainly knows the difference between right and wrong. Now the baby is only six months old, and could hardly be expected to know ’ ‘How blind and absurd you men are !’ ‘Do you think that he has moral sense ?’ ‘I am not going to answer any such absurd question.’ ‘But seriously, truly, do you?’ ‘He has just as much as you or I.’ ‘You really believe that ?’ ‘I know it.’ ‘Has he any reasoning power ?’ ‘Most certainly he has.’ ‘Enough for him to be able to trace the connection between cause and effect ?’ ‘Of course.’ ‘Supposing that he-did something and the consequences were agreeable,would he know enough to do it again ?’ ‘Decidedly he would.’ ‘And if the consequences were unpleasant, would he leave it undone ?’

‘You know very well that he would.’ ‘No, I was in doubt about it. Now that you’ve settled that, just let me suggest something for the sake of family peace. That baby is conceded to be the healthiest little animal in the neighborhood. He’s as fat as butter and as strong as a little horse. Yet the moment he wakes out of sleep he sets up a yell that can be heard in the next street. It isn’t a weak wail of distress, it is the fulllunged bellow of commanding insolence. Every yell is a command, and if he is not instantly obeyed lie punishes us with dreadful uproar. He won’t lie still a moment, not even after being fed. Some one must carry him all the time. And lately he ha become fantastic in his tastes, and demands that the person carrying him shall perform a jig step as he walks. If he was in pain, now, I would say nothing; but you yourself say that he never has anj’ pain,and he proves it by the way he smiles the very moment he gets his own way. He turns his double chin and looks at you with a broad, good-natured grin, such as a blase Oriental potentate might bestow on obedient slaves.’ ‘What are you talking about,and what do you mean ?’ ‘Why, I mean just this, my dear; that if he is really a responsible being like Ponto it is your duty to reverse your past course of procedure. Whenever he sees fit to be disagreeable and to introduce discord into the family circle, you have taken pains to be as agreeable as possible to him. This has confirmed his course. He finds that the more trouble he makes the better he is treated. Naturally, he devotes as much of his time as he can spare to making trouble.’ ‘And ’ ‘Well, if he found that when he was unpleasant it made matters unpleasant for him, that instead of being soothed and petted and carried about he was laid across the maternal knee, and ’ ‘What, a six-months-old infant—a poor innocent little thing that does not know anything at all? And you actually would think of . But you reason like a man—just exactly like a man !’