Making the Guano Dance

Southland Times, Issue 11654, 7 February 1891, Page 4

Making the Guano Dance

Max Adelfr, the famous American humorist, gives the following account of a conversation >c had with Judge Pitman : — ' I've got aomethin' on my mind that's bin abotherin' me (sayi the Judge) the wunt kind for a week and more. You've read the Atlantic Monthly, haven't you ?' •Yei. 1 'Weil, my daughter bought one of 'em, and [ was a-readin' it the other night, when I saw it stated tin guanner rould be icfl lenced by music, and that Protestor Brown had made pome git up and come to him when he played a tune on the pianner.' I remembered, at the Judge spoke, that the m&gaz ne in question dil contain a paragraph to ibe eff'Ct that tbe iguana was >usceptible of such influence, snd that Mrs Brown had succeedfd in taming one of theie animals, so that it would run to her at the sound of mttiic. But I permitted Mr Pitman to contioue withoa> interruption. 'Of course, 1 said hr, I never re«lly believed no met noo»en»e as th*', but it utruck me at kinder ning'lar. and I tboueht I'd give the old thit g a trial, anyhow, ho I got down my fiddle, »od went to 'he barn, and put a bag i.f t;u»n-er in the middle <'f the fljor ami began to rake out a tune. First 1 p'aye i ' A LiTe oq the Ocean Wave and » Home on the Itolliu' Derp three or four times ; and there that guanner »ot, just as I expected 'twould Then I beaaa agiu snl sawed out a lot o' variations, but still »be didn't budge. Tben I put on a fresh s <urt and j-immeii in a pa*»»l o' t-xira snarpi arid fl ts and exercises; aod I played t»at tune backward an<i sideways and ca - -cornered. Ani I stirred in sine scalu and rn'xd the tune up with Old Hundred an ' Mary Maine and some Sunday ftcaoc>l sorjgn, until 1 nearly fiddled my tbirt off, ar d nary time Oid that gu«nner bag git up eff thst floor. 1 knowed it w inlda't. I knowed tiat feller want tell the truin But, cap don't it itrike you that a man who'd lie like th»t ousjbt to have s<.m»thiog done to him ? It 'pears tn me'i if a mouth or two in jatl'd do that fellow g od