A Second-Hand mother.

Southland Times, Issue 9390, 2 December 1886, Page 4

A Second-Hand mother.

How'f my mother V be slowly answered. 1 8be was party well half an hour ago, when we had a little argument in the back yard and she pitched the clothes bars at me ' ' I nndertfand,' said the other boy, as he wearily sat down on the curbstone and reached out for a straw to break in pieces in his fingers, 'that she's second hand,' • Exactly, Sbe vu a widow when pop VMKiicd h«t, vaA. I guess ate looked upon it as her last chance, That's what we were arguing about this morning, and that's why ■he got mad.' • Do you call her mother ?' • I did op to yesterday. She agreed to give me fifty cents a week to call her mother around the houee when pop was home, and two shillings more every time I called her ma before the neighbours. She paid up all right the first week, but defaulted on the ■ecohd, and I'm now addressing her at strangar. Ido business on a cash basis, I do, and when the cash stops the ma business comes to a dead standstill.' • That's perfectly right. Do they §poon much?' ' Lots. Guess pop thought it was his last chance, too, the way he acts Say, Jim, it's awfully tiresome for a boy to be around wbere co much spooning is going op. It iskincieT turning my stomach agin vittlee, and I feel weary all over,' 1 Mnst have struck you purty sudden ?' • Ye?, it did. Pop and me aDd bis sister had been keeping hou^e alone for seven yeaTß, when one day he drove up with this secondhand person in a hack and told me to kiss my sew ma.' • And did you V 1 Naw. Made a climb for the back fence, and didn t go home till the police threatened to send 'me 'o the Beform School.' 1 How did your aunt take it?' 'It was rich. Them women embraced and kifsed at 2 p.m., standard time. At 3my aunt was out of the house, bags, bundles and old umbrellas, and the stianper had full pos session. I wasnt there to see it, but 'he neighbours laughed until their sides ached. I guess my aunt is running yet, for we haven't heard from her.' IDo you 'spo«e this — this se:ond hand edition will go up to ste your mother's grave?' ' Will she. Well, don t you bet any money on it. About one of the first questions sbe asked me was wkat the gravestone cost, and how often yofj went up, and when I told her ehe kirked tbe cat across the kit hen and broke a lamp chimney with Let eibow. Next day I heard fccr saying to pop that she'd jugt like to see a husband of hers fooling away his tmein a graveyard. If she and pop verted go v i there and pop so far forgot tbe situation as to heave a sigh, she'll mop him over a hull acre of graves,' ' Does she go through your pockets after you are asleep.' « She set out to, but I filled 'em with red pepper and she didn't get her eyea opened till next day noon. Since then we treat ca~h other with coldness.' Tke two »at looking at the cobblestones for a loog lime, and then Jim suddenly rose up and said : • I know what I'm going to do.' ' What ?' 1 I'm going to be gooder to my own mother than ever before. I've get two cents, and I'm going to take her home two palm leaf fans and ask her to keep on living for my Bake.' .