DRUNKEN GEESE.

Southland Times, Issue 3985, 4 April 1881, Page 3

DRUNKEN GEESE.

■ ■ ♦ , "When gees* take to drink, the result is preposterous, for Nature never, meant geese to get intoxicated. A short while - ago, however, a farmer's wife in Germany unwittingly made all her geese drunk. She was bent upon -winking some cherry brandy ; but as she found, during the process, that the fruit was unsound, she , threw the whole mass out into the^yard, and without looking to see what followed, shut the window. As it fell out her flock of geese -happened to be waddling !> by at the time, and, seeing' the cherries trundling aboufc, at once' investigated them. The, preliminary inquiry' proving v satisfactory > .these f misguided poultry "■■ set to and ate the whole lot. The effect of the spirituous fruit was soon apparent, for on trying to make the gate which led front- the- scene jof the debauch to the horsepond, they found everything against them. Whether "a' high wind had got up'Or what had, .happened, tljey could not tell, but it- seemed to the geese as if there was an uncommonly high sea run.ning, andtheground set in towards them ' * iritli a steady strong 'swell that was most embarrassing to progress. Meanwhile the dame, the unconscious cause of the disaster, was attracted by the noise in • the -fowl-yard, and looking out saw all • ' Her "geese behaving as if they were mad. The 'gander himself" was balancing himself'on his beak, and spinning round the iririlepn'a'prodigious-flurry of feathers and dust,- while the old, grey goose was lying stoWch upwards 1 in J the -gutter, feebly , gesticulating with her, legs.. Others of, the party were no less conspicuous for tljtf extravagance of their attitudes and gestures, .while; the remainder Twere to. be seen lying in -a helpless confusion of feathers in tKe leescuppe.r, that is to say the gutter by tiic^pig-styfe. Perplexed by the spectacle, the dame called in her ' r - neighbors, and af ter..cai i eraWnv;eacigation it was decided that the- v birds had died of poison. Under these circumstances their carcases were worth nothing &>£; • food, so they set to work then and there and plucked the ten geese bare. Next r morning the good women got up as/isual, and remembering the feathers downstairs, dressed betimes, for it was market day, and she hoped" to get them off her hands.* at once. Arid, then she bethought heY of the ten plucked bodies lying in the ."■■ porch, and resolved that they should be buried before she went out. But as she approached the door, on these decent ■„. - rites intent, and was turning the key, there fell on her ears the sound of a familiar voice— and then another and another, until 'at last, the astonished dame heard in full chorus the well-known accents of all her plucked and poisoned geese. There they stood, the ten miserable, tyirds, with, splitting headaches and parched tongues,, contrite aud dejected, asking to. have their feathers back again . The situation was painful .. .to, both parties. . Here were the geese .before her, bald, penitent, ancl shaking .. with tbeeold ; there in the corner were their feathers in a bag. But how could '' : they be brought together ? The thing .. was.. out of the question, so sitting down she: made them some flannel jackets. : How the birds fared this history does not relate, but no doubt the geese were wiser •';.' iri^their jackets than they were in their ,-.■:■ feathers. . . .