HERE AND THERE.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 5010, 18 May 1889, Page 2

HERE AND THERE.

r lho Government declare the description given by the Auckland Observer of tho unhealthy condition of Fort Takapuna is grossly untrue, and they refer to the favourable opinions expressed by officers of the Naval squadron upon tho arrangements at the fort and barracks. Tho question is whether these naval gentlemen are good judges. When wo recall the accounts- published respecting the insanitary condition of the “ Orlando,” and consider that, even if her arrangements were not considered good, her officers had got used to them, we may conclude that they are not very good Judges.

Tho discovery of tho remains of a man in a solid block of marble in New South Wales is one of the most remarkable finds over made. It may be held to surpass in interest the discovery of Noah’s ark in a glacier on Mount Ararat, of which a most clear and interesting narrative was given by ‘’Pollex” of the Auckland Herald some years ago, and reproduced all over the world. It is as important in its way as the discovery of those famous engraved plates of the Book ofMormon by Joseph Smith. Smith’s discovery is readily suggested, by the statement that the remains show indications that the deceased had been scalped, indicating that an American Indian had probably something to do with the deceased’s transferonee to marble halls, or from another point of view, a “ stone jug.” Tho toads which reports tell us were made the victims of premature interment 20,000 years ago—of which now and then an odd one is snatched from its grave--must be quite new chums in the under world, compared with human remains in blocks of marble. We shall probably receive a correction in a day or two, stating tho message should have read that human remains had been found with a block of marble in them.

A Mr 'Qreenahlekb, of Auckland, asks for a patent for “ hygienic " boots and shoes, to bo called 11 ventilated boots and shoes.” This is not a patentable notion. Ventilated boots and shoes have been made over since boots and shoes become fashionable, by, counting children, nine people out of ten.

Striking a jury is a different kind of assault from striking a juryman, and is not only not punishable at law, but is actually done by command of the law. Yet live people out of sis would rather bo struck as individuals than struck as members of a jury. A good yarn connected with the striking of juries comes from a southern court. Ihe clerk was in structod to form a jury by drawing the names from the jury list ,! in alphabetical order, ns their names shall appear in the jury list.” Ho drew one from the A’s, then one from the B’s, next a 0, and so on till bo had tho requisite number. This proceeding is described as a good joke in the department of justice ; but an outsider may wonder where tho laugh comes in. If that was not drawing tho names “in alphabetical order ” one may well ask what else it was. The d9partment considers it drawing “ in alphabetical order ”

to take them as their stand in the list; drawing from all the A’b first, then from all the £’s, and so on.

A conference of prophets assembled in London in the first week of March settled that the world would come to an end on March sth 1895, at 12.49 sharp, Greenwich mean time. New Zealanders must not forget that our time is about twelve hours ahead of Greenwich reckoning, or they will be disappointed if they look out for the event at the hour fixed, and will be looking on the whole affair as a hoax when clang will go the trumpet. Wo are not told though whether 12. 40 sharp is to be a.m. or p.m.

The older “Joe Millers” had an anecdote of a trial for breach of promise or something of that kind, in the course of which a witness was asked what was said to her by so-and-so. “My learned friend on the other side ” objected ; it was not good evidence. After a long wrangle it was agreed that the witness should answer the question and she did — “ So-and-so said nothing to me at all.” We are reminded of this by a wrangle in the Dunedin Police Court a few days ago. One lawyer wanted to recall a witness, and his opponent objected, the bench of justices had their say, and Acts, and Rules, etc., wore quoted pro and con. Finally the bench determined that the witness should bo recalled. “ I simply want to ask Macdonald how many of the cattle sold belonged (o him ” said one. “ 1 still object,” said the other, “ and if you recall him I will take no further part in the case.” The witness was recalled and in reply to the important question said “ None of the cattle sold belonged to mo.” (Great laughter in the body of the court.)