PADDY MURPHY IN SAMOA.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 3334, 8 December 1883, Page 2

PADDY MURPHY IN SAMOA.

IPISTOL THE FOUBTH* Inthornational Hotel, Apia, Samoa, Oct. 7,1883.

Be the hokoy poker, there was a grate goin’s on intirely, whin tho Pnrlimint was convained for the purpose o’ considerin’ Jack London’s appail. The session was opened be King Malitoa in person, an’ his majesty wore his dhress shuit for the auspicious occasion, so he did. The King mounted the royal throne, which more be token, consisted av some empty gin cases, and aflher lie delivered a boutyful speech, he retired surrounded be his guards av honour, all

dhressed up io their bran new mats an’ feathera. Whin the royal coortaishe (Frinch) had got beyant the praycincts of the Parlimint House, the Spaiker tuk the chair, so he did, an* the interprether, Misther Morris Scanlan tuk notes o’ the procaidin’s. The Sargint-at-Arms thin marched in an’ announced in stentorian axsints, “His Ixcillincy John Lundon, Ministher Plinnypotinsherry from New Zayland," Whin the name was announced, the House rose like one man, an’ Jack strhode in, keep* in’ the Sargint at arms lintb, bekays he was niver partial to peelers, so he wasn’t. The Spaiker thin informed honorable numbers, that Misther Lundon had a grievince to lay before thim, rilitive to his thraitment be Misther Churchyard, the British Gounsil. He then called on Jack to state his cane. Be the morebial, ye could hear a pin dhrop whin Jack got upon his feet to addhress the House. He put on the same bould an’ defiant air that be used to asshume jurin’ the session at Willinton whioever he was roused, I got Misther Scanlan to thranslate his speech verbatim ate litheratim (Latin) from the English into the Samoan, and whin honourable numbers heard through the mayjum o’ the interprether, they cheered ah’ hoorayed in a most inthusiastic manner. I took it down meself in Irish, an’ I have much pleasure in rendherin’ it for the binifit of Hew Zayland readers into Hia. wathian varse. I’ve done this with Jack’s consent, bekays be thinks it’ll read betther as a pome than it would in prose. The followin’ is tbo gist av Jack’s remarks: —

Should ye ax whince the stories 1 Whinoe the layginds an’ thraditioni That the British Counsil’s tould ye ’Bout mesilf an’ Paddy Murphy— Chargin’ us bein’ Falnyeens, An’ disturbers o’ the paice here 7 I should answer, I should tell ye : " ’Tis bekays we've come demandin’ Justice for some daycint people, Who have sint us from New Zayland For to c’aim a bit o' land her, Called the incrimint unairned (This, av coorsc, is scientific Language that ye aren’t used to.) An’ the Gounsil, Misther Churchyard, An’ the Governor o’ Feejee An’ some other dhirty blackguards, Have conspired to spile our mission.” Should ye ax me where's New Zayland ? I should answer, I should tell ye . " 'Tis a pair o’ lovely islands Nestlin’ on the broad Pacific, Filled with valiant min and wimin, Where the mountains kiss the heavens, An’ the valleys, green an' lovely, Always flow with milk an’ honey ; Where the mighty legislators— Filled with honour an’ with wisdom— Meet together in the winter, In the City o’ the Swindles, An’ discourse about the nation In the chambers an’ the lobbies,” If still further you should ax me, Sayin’:—"Have ye mighty laidhers, Noble chieftains o’ the people, In the isles they call New Zayland?” I should answer your inquiries Straightway in such words as follow : " Faix, we’ve got the Knight o’ Eawau, First and foremost in the vanguard, Always fightin’ hard for progriss ; But the people, ah the people, They’re inchanted be the witchcraft Av the Wizard o’ Mount Egmont, He’s the boy, upon me conshinse, To bamboozle the curmndgins With a mass av muddled figgers Proving three and three is seven,” If, moreover, you should ax me If New Zayland’s ould an’ anabint, I should answer in a jiffy : II Blur-an-ounthers, man alive, boys, It’s as ould as any nation Besting on the broad Pacific ; It has sprung from anshint histh’ry. At ye don’t like to believe me, Dhrop a note to Doothor Hecthor An’ that larn’d tavong will tell ye That New Zealand had existed Long before the age Silurian, An’ that mastodon an’ moa Bambied on her lofty mountains Ere the pterodactyls started From the first primevil germ. But I think I’ve said enough boys, 'But the prospects o’ the nation That has sent me to Samoa; Now a word or two I’ll tell ye ’Bout me mission to Samoa ; I have come here—d’ye mind me— On a mission fair and laygal, Merely boys, to claim me just jues, An’ bekays mesilf an’ Paddy Won’t ait humble pie an bow down Worshipin’ grate Misther Churchyard, Who lives here as British Gounsil, That mane spalpeen has the cheek, sure, For to bring a charge av tbraison ’Gainst mesilf an' Faddy Murphy. Misther Spaiker I am swelling— Burstin’, Sir, with indignation— Does he know, Sir, I’m a laidher O' the people av New Zayland ? Does he know I’ve represented All the lovely Bay av Islands In the Council o’ the Nation 7 Does be know—be cannot know, Sir— That lama County Chairman ? Bit, I have expatiated Very fully on me mission To this House’s satisfaction, An’ I’m sure the Mimbers vardict Will uphold me in me just claim, An’ will shield mesilf an’ Faddy From the shafts o’ persecution; I appail now, Misther Speaker, To the Ministarial binohes, An’ to those who sit op-pos-it, Justice is me play ; renumber What the mighty William Shakspere Has to say about its ooorse, Sir, An’ be thrue to me an’ Faddy, That is all I've got to say, boys.” Whin Jack inded, there was the divil’s own cheerin’ afther which tbo House went into corae-at-tay o’ the whole to considher the subject. Afther a lively an sperrited debate the followin’ resolution (to which I referred in a previous ipistol) was unanimously agreed to:—“That the Parlimint av Samoa niver forms an opinion on any subject which it does notundherstand.” I may inform ye that Jack an’ mesilf are laivin’ here for Auckland in a few days, aa_ we can’t get on at all, at all, with the dirty varmints who are pisenin’ the king’s mind agiost us. This will likely be me last ipistol from Samoa, but whin Jack an’ mesilf arrive home* I'll have a grate dail more to tell ye. I am, me dear Sir George, Your Obagiant Servant, PADDY MURPHY. Sir George Grey, K. 0.8.