A SIMPLE MINDED FOREIGNER.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 3106, 15 March 1883, Page 3

A SIMPLE MINDED FOREIGNER.

“Civis” in the “Otago Witness” relates the following, the episode is certainly one of the most amusing in connection with the annals of advertising in New Zealand : “There is a suggestive mixture of simplicity and shrewdness about the following—a combining, so to speak, of the “ smile so childlike and bland” with the possession of a supernumery ace or two up ttw writer’s sleeve.” Munich, December 20th, 1882. To the Honorable Administration of the “ Otago Witness” in Dunedin, Australia. “ Dear Sib,— l beg you kindly to insert the following five advertisements in your newspapers 40 times, every day one of them. “ Have the goodness to send me the first papers containing the advertisements for my seeing its being correct. “ The amount of your note I will send you by post-office order, after my having received the note with the voucher-newspapers; and I hope to be able of giving you a greater order for the next season. “ I am Respectfully, sir your obedient humble servant.” The signature follows, but I omit the signature. Not even to the small extent of printing his name can I gratify the Munich man’s desire for a cheap advertisement. The Honorable administration of the “ Witness,” it will be observed, is invited to print five advertisements forty times, and then to look with the eye of faith to distant Munich for the money. The Honorable Administration of the “ Witness ” replies, “ Not if he knows it I” It is not possible, he says, to honorably administrate the “ Witness ” on any such terms. This is to be regretted, as the Munich man’s advertisements are of such a nature that they would impart a new interest to the columns of any newspaper. One of them offers for sale on improvement in jewellery described as “ simile diamonds in born,” and recommended by the consideration that they “ can be setted in golden rings.” Another describes a novelty in education: “ German, French, Spain, Russian, and Latin language teaches by letters—successful! Prospectus, 5 stamps. Charges for one of these languages three pounds sterling.” There are two others which may be quoted in full—always excepting the name — “ Have you any commission in trade or family matters —will you sell your goods in German, or will yon have goods from Germany, write to &c., &0., in Munich, Germany. Especially—beer, manufactures, linen, toys, victuals, works of arts, and millinery.” “ If you want somebody from Germany —merchant clercs, teachers, governess’s, artists, workmen, and so forth ; or if you will know the German marriage brokers, write to &c., Munich, Germany.” What kind of people can the Germans suppose New Zealanders to be that they think them capable of importing “ merchant clercs, governess’s, and artists ’’ from Munich ? The intelligent advertiser even fancies that a New Zealand colonist might like to order his wife through a “German marriage broker 1” The German mind must be in a very muddled condition on the subject of the Colonies.