THE NEW REFORMATION.

Saturday Advertiser, Issue 29, 29 January 1876, Page 15

THE NEW REFORMATION.

{To the Editor Saturday Advertiser.)

Sir, —We all know that marriage is a great lottery; all hope to draw prizes, yet how many are bitterly disappointed., Marriage is the one great idea of a girl’s life ; from childhood to womanhood the thought of some day being married is ever with her. Men seldom think seriously of it until they fall in love, or some anxious friend suggests that they should settle down. But although marriage forms the superlative idea in the feminine mind, how few ever think of preparing themselves for that important position ! The majority can play indifferently, sing indifferently, dance pretty well, and converse if the subject happens to be scandal ; cannot cook, manage a house, darn a stocking (much less knit one), nor make a child’s pinafore —would be very indignant if -asked to help mother on ironin ; day—spoils the hands you know. Not one girl out of fifteen could tell you how long a leg of mutton took to boil; yet they all expect to have houses of their own some day. And, again, what pains they take to make themselves always pretty and neat to win a husband ; and when they get one, they think it no longer necessary to be so scrupulous, the object of their lives being gained, and themselves settled. Yes, but upon herself does it depend principally whether ilie settlement is one of happiness or misery'. No husband likes to come home and fiud his wife, children, and houseuntidy, bis dinner burnt or raw. If the home is all it ought to be, the thought of its many comforts and happinesses cheers him through the many crosses and troubles »f the day, and he hastens home as soon as possible. On the other hand, if it is not what it ought to be, lie leaves bis wife to spend her evenings alone, and he strolls oft' somewhere with a cigar. When he is at home, she grumbles and complains that there was a time when he was always at her side, &c. ; forgetting how pleasant and nice she made herself then, and how ■different now. The husband gets more callous, the wife more careless, and so things go on from bad to 'worse. It is very sad that matrimony, which is meant by our Creator to give the greatest happiness to human beings, should have become such a miserable farce that it has even become a subject of ridicule ! Many girls accept the first that proposes, without considering whether they are suited to each other; the novelty of being "engaged” possesses an irresistible charm. How much better were they to choose a husband with (he view of having a wise and faithful guardian, who would lead them gently and lovingly over the rugged paths of this stormy life. No, unfortunately for them, they think more of the shape of his face, or the colour of his ey'es, Ac., than they do of the disposition, temperament, and so forth. There is a great reformation epidemic raging in Dunedin just now; why does not some philanthropic lady, anxious for the welfare of future generations, start an “ Academy of Domestic Knowledge,” or a “ School of Cookery,” charge so much a quarter for lessons—this would indeed cause a reform, and in years to come would be spoken of with as great interest as the reformation in bluff King Hal’s time. Ido not mean that all miserable marriages are the fault of the wives. Not at all; there are many men who ought to be hung, rather than married ; but generally speaking a man is jvliat a woman makes him. I’m sure there are many lords of creation who would willingly subscribe towards a “ School of Cookery.” I highly approve of the “ Funeral llcform but the " Marriage Reform ” is nonsense. The grandmothers are getting stingy ; why should not we enjoy the delights of a pretty trousseau as well as they ? if ladies want something useful to do. let them form an association for training girls to be good and useful wives and mothers, and there will be every chance of good husbands and sons, who will every day they live bless the ladies who brought about the Reformation. —I am, &c., I. M. E. Dunedin, January 22, 1876.