AT THE TEA TABLE.

Rangitikei Advocate and Manawatu Argus, Volume XLV, Issue 12064, 28 May 1920, Page 5

AT THE TEA TABLE.

SO!9iE TOPICAL TALKS.

"Recently a celebrated tennis player alleged that the Davis Oup should not be played in New Zealand because of' oar uncertain climate," remarked the Critic, "but the Fates have got even with him for this aspersion of 'God's Own Country.' His Australian 'blow'" has been followed by a judgment on his country, for whilefthe son nearly always smiled on our Prince during his New Zealand tour, he struck °& day of gloom when landing on Australian shores." "It was quite appropriate," said the Cynic. " Many of the first who went to Australia landed in gloom. They were said too, to have been selected by the best judges,- and one of their own number, who had been an actor, claimed for them 'true , patriots we, for bo it understood, we left our country for our oountry'fi good.' It was quite natural that our • Fortunate Isles should receive tha Prince 'jot Smiles in smiling sunshine. "

"I am inclined to feel sony for the Prince, however," said 'the Spinster, «" because the Australians do not seem inclined to spare him. Even their Parliament could not settle the precedence of the two Houses and tried to make him receive addresses from each. He was tactful, though, and at any rate escaped the boredom of the Lord Mayor's address.

"We ought to be extremely thankful that the Lords of Labour hav© •Jeigned to instruct the watersiders to resume work, Had these gentlemen,, who are superior in power to our Ministry, Parliament and th© officers of the law, not done so, the position might have become very aerious."

"But why should our shipping movements depend on the sweet ;will of thesa Irresponsible autocrats?" asked the Politician. "Ib there any use at all in having a Government that doesn't govern? Oar Government seems to be frightened or nearly every section in the community, from the Lords ot Labour down to the Pecksniffs who try to regulate our morals. It is time those in charge of affairs developed backbone.'?

"The trouble in this case," said the Oyuic, "seems fco have arisen because the coal came from Porfc Kembla. The- Labour Trust, has reasons for objecting to the* import of coal from that source, and if it was the finest in the world they would still find it dusty. Still it is apparent that a little extra silver will make it quite clean, f6r they fix its purification for transport purposes at threepence an hour. Thus tliey can at one and the same fime play the game of grab and discourage the import of a very necessary article. For low down cunning, laziness, and avaricious greed, they wonld be hard to excel." "I see the Broken Hill strikers have so far lost two million pounds in wages," said the Critic, "and of course the people have loht all the product that amount of wages would mean. Yei the Australian people still go through the farce of electing a Government to look after their interests. Seems to be another waste of energy and excitement." "What can jou expect?" asked the Cynic, "from a country which possesses a State Premier who is now consorting with the Bolshoviks in Russia? The Australians have jnsfc the kind of Government they deserve If the people allow BolHheviks to rale them they must not he surprised when they are despoiled. We have Bolsheviks in oar own country too, who defy oar laws and act as they please, utterly regardless, of the interests of the people. We might as well have a Bolshevik Government as have our Government raled by anarchistic factions."

5 "Oar Government," remarked the Politician, "should show less desire to meddle with the private life of the people and should strictly refrain from interfering in trade and commercial matters, It should also •show l&ss inconsistency. For instance, when it legalised tha totalisator and made it a very profitable source of revenue, it should not thee attempt to .deprive tho* people interested of any of the advantages accruing .from its existence. When the 'unco guid' discovered that publication of dividends was interesting to racegoers the newspaper reports were put under censorship and no paper was allowed to publish them, though as these were neoessarily only known after the event they could not influence the betting o.n it. Then the newspapers tried to 'meet the requirements of the sporting men by prefixing to the names of the horses nuiibars showing the order of preference by th« investors on the tote. The 'unco guid' therefore tqok another sniff and hurried to a Minister of Morality who rang up the Cro vn Law offi-crs ai;-1 got a decision shaft publication of these numbers was a breach of the law that pure while /pa nre passing many thousands through the tote, partly for the benefit of the State and relief of the general taxpayers, including the Pharisees." "The new regnlatio'n will not make the slightest difference," said the Cynic. " The latest aDuhcation of the Blue Laws of the Counecticot Puritans will be easily evaded. Tiie newspapers caa still *ive the order of preferpnoo on the tote. AH-they have to do is to give the result of each race-—first,, üßcoah and third as usual—and then give the list of all the horses starting including the placed ones, in tha exact order of preference. The only difference will be that three names w*ill have to be repeated. The order of preference can easily be given without the use of numbers So thai we may next expect to necr that the Ministerial cunaor in this land whiob. is alleged to possess a free press* will altogether prohioit the publication of reports of race meetings."

"Mr Dnnn, the New South Wales politician, seems to be very desirone of pleasing his 'have aot' supporters." rsmarke'l the Critic. r *l notice that he threatened to seize property aaiesa speculation ends. It seams to me that it is high time the politicians were shown that they were not given power to abase jt to the injnry of any olasa. They are all at the same game, .in greaser or leas decree and nuleaa the peopl* resist their arrogant attacks most of our liberties will have jgone and we shall require a new Magna Oharte.»| " .■AJAyE-PKSNJSi M