THE LIGHT COLUMN.

Rangitikei Advocate and Manawatu Argus, Volume XLV, Issue 12017, 6 March 1920, Page 2

THE LIGHT COLUMN.

ALLEGED HUMOUR. HE UNDERSTOOD. “I have often marvelled at your brilliancy, your aptness atjcepartee, your—” “If it’s more than five shillings, old man, I can’t do a thing for you; I’m hard up myself.” DIFFICULT “Well, doctor, do you think it is anything serious?” • *oh, not at all. It is merely a boil ofi the back of your neck, but I would advise yon to keep an eye on it.” ■ I WHAT'HB’WANTBu. A curate, who was very j'onng.and veryjnervous, had recently been appointed to a Black Country pariah, and he was officiating at his first wedding. The bride and bridegroom smiled encouragingly at his first few blunders, but matters got serious when"he turned to the bridegroom and 'asked, “Wilt thou have this woman as thy wedded husband?” S The bride tittered, but the curate, getting hotter and hotfer, tried again. “Wilt thou have this man to |thy wedded woman?” he said. d At this the bridegroom interfered. “Aw don’t know'wot yer wants me to hev,” he said, “hut aw coom here for her,” laying his horny hand on the bride’s shoulder, ,“an’ aw’ll hev her ornowt. ” SOME CLUB. “It’s a big question you’ve asked me, Terence, and it’s time I’d be liking to think it over.” “Sure, ’tia a very big question, Norah, and ’tis myself T 1 be after waiting as long as you like tor ffhe answer. But just tell mo one thing, acuahia —will it be ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’ ” STRANGE COINCIDENCE Landlady: And what might your profession he, air? New Tenant, a budding poet: I follow the Muse, madam. Landlady: Now, isn’t that funny? My last tenant was connected with the stables, too. HIS MASTERPIECE. A painter of the impressionist school is now confined in a lunatic asylum. To all persons who visit his studio he says, “Look here; this is the latest masterpiece of my composition.” They look and see nothing hut an expanse of hare canvas, They ask, “What does that represent?” “That 9 Why, that represents the passage of the Jews through the Red Sea.” “Beg pardon, but where is the sea?” “It has been driven back.” “And where are the Jews?” “They have crossed over. ” “And the Egyptians?” “Will be here directly.”