HELL.

Rangitikei Advocate and Manawatu Argus, Volume XXXVI, Issue 10406, 20 July 1912, Page 7

HELL.

AND WHAT IT IS LIKE.

(By H. T. Oameroa,),

My guide book says Hall Is a wares plane even in v;inter, where cheap arrangements can bs°made for a lengthy stay.” I followed my grade book, having fcha fullest of confidence in of the suggestion offered as being most suitable to different tastes and ternpermeats searching for pleasure or punishment There is much pleasure here and no limitations to time or twilight, and oven in summer the whole place offers rest to the weary and the wicked, and solace to the secluded and the silent. Hell ia situated close to the most northerly town in the world, Brontheim, and is often visited by tourists by special permission from the “Master of the Household,” also bolding local portfolios as “Comptroller of the Charcoal.” Little difficulty is experienced in reaching here, and contrary to the reliance of a good supply of chalk and a stout heart, the Norwegian Government have foreseen the "advisability of connecting it with their important towns and the outside world, and a good railway carriage, a return ticket and seat can now be used. From Christiana the railway guard shouts: "All seats for Hell,” and the train moves slowly oat, Magnificent country is traversed and che narrow steel Hue clings to the mountain sides as the train winds round precipice, hugs a waterfall, skirts glaciers and finally ascending mountains to reach an altitude of 4000 feet, where varied views of the fiords winding inland inserts enthusiasm into the most callous being. Satan may have added roughness to rook, bareness to the hills, or placed ravines (n the pathway, ' but the Gods of Nature have made it the masterpiece of all, and beyond the towering mountains and sheltered from the raging winds, a triangular plateau opens out to receive the train and its passengers, who have been drawn by an angry engine to finally rest in Htll To spend any time here Is difiiou’.t, the accommodation being decidedly limited—for- soma unknown reason—guides are scarce and guide hooka unnecessary, for little is left to detect one’s friends by but the friend of the tourist is always there awaiting his tip or ready to overcharge you if you do not overtip him The Englishman Is known more by his breakfast menu than by ia accent, and bacon and eggs verify this at the breakfast table. Tea as also served by special request —but is to be avoided as it only appears in very pale quality and is always accompanied by the richest of cream—but the tea spoils the oreara. Cheese appears in a marauding form and can be had in many colours, qualities and altitudes and can he secured either dead or alive. Boiled eggs are always served for breakfast, but invariably are not boiled, as the Norwegian prefers many dishes la a raw state, and after all perhaps a raw egg is preferable to a rotten one. The city is a quiet one—spirits being solsly under the control of the Gothenburg system, and rarely escape, Macnfaoturing Is confined to salpeter and much is used and the bplanee exported Professions and actors have been represented ban 1 have not yet met an insurance agent, although a missionary station occupies a pominent position I endeavoured to purchase a local paper bat was unsuccessful. Ramember’ag that the vicissitudes of a newspaper are many, this exclusion was difficult to understand — but apparently ‘here is no law regulating the habitation of its correspondents and articles for insertion flow In from the most unsuspected people and planes There may even be applogies for the acceptance of this article, but the habitation of the writer must be well Known, as nrobably it is the most familiar locality in tbs universe to many who are Verbally despatched thereto. This copy departs in the freshest of Norwegian air, but should it-appear combed or accompanied by an odour of brimstone the then can only rema’n a buried secret until the writer eeizen an opportunity of explaining. Possibly the editor may think that at last some departed subscriber, heedless of demands and departing before settling bis overdue account, has s<- la-t written; or it may appear shut the poet with oft rejected manuscript and a through ticket to .the wnstepaper basket is seeking sweet revenge Editors, too, have many silent, forcible blessings heaped In a generous manner on their already burdened heads for the omissions or emissions of men leaping into fire, flame and fame—but hero the newspaper finds rest. The editor’s mom Is replaced by rook, linotypes are unknown, type does not get pied, the thud of the printing press is unheard anti even the indispensable P.D cannot be found, smeared in ink and catching trains w*th the • first edition. Even Hell offers a change from all the rush and bustle of life, the here there is a change for the business man. the office man, the tired man, the weary man, and the wicked man. There is quietness within the city gates, there Is a freshness in th air. a brightness in the sunshine, and no danger in the dark —as it is all day at present The mountains lend isolation and solitude and the fjords penetrating for miles into the country—offer pleasure and pastime to all who do not find it too hot. “There is a pleasure In the pathless wood, There is a rapture on the lonely shore. There ia society where none intrude, And music in the ocean’s roar.” And even Shelley (lover of Nature as he was) could not say “That this Hell is a city just like London.”