WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 29, Issue 41, 29 May 1917, Page 2

WISE AND OTHERWISE.

true strategy

For the whole of one Sun-lay a certain party of the Voluntary Training Corps had been engaged in learning the art of bridge-building. For the last hour or so they baa worked on their own, as their instructor was engaged elsewhere. But before they were dismissed be ram-! back to inspect their’work, “Why, this affair would coll«p*2 in half an hour !” he exclaimed, in angry surprise, indicating where l.h« knots on one side were all ti*d wrongly. “That’s .-ill .1.-hi. sir,” rep’d-d i.M maker of the kr.ols calmly. ‘ Th« bridge is for the Haas to cross, not our men." “BANG GAHd GAXPI3NCB.” “Good-morning, Mr. Mclntosh !” raid the lady courteously, as sue entered the grocer’s stop. ‘ flould you like a ticket for our concert tonight ?” Mclntosh eyed her (curly. “V.hit’f tae pey ?’’ he asked blum- " “Q’a, nothing! The seats are all fro*.’’

“ r lh-i Ah’ll be glad to come !’’ paid Mclntosh, with a beaming *mile. The lady ha"dad over the tlck*t. gave him her usual .veer for frofjcriou, and left *ke s*- p. At once Mcf.wtosb seamed the ti ict vagvly. • ;>•/ l-:.i,!x>ru be f«si*r.d the wor-L ‘ TT.a holder of tick-t is expected to buy » p.'oy.ruKume, pee* sixpence. ’ Angrily he t K : gw f* on the counter, “D’ye sec that, noo ?” he snorted furiously. “Ah miuht .bae ken’t then wia a catch in it somowhers 1” A FEEBLE EXCISE. Anxious to win the hea-< and haiW of a local school tracker, a youka miner concealed his true occupation from her, letting her imagine that h< was a clerk in the office at che colVery. The deception succeeded for aomt time. Then one evening, as the young lady was taking a stroll, she met he* wooer coming from his work in full kit —clogs, black face, and all. "I thought you told mo you wcr« a deck ?” she demanded angrily, hoping none of her friends would sex together. “And so I cm, dear.” replied the young fellow, hoping to patch the affjw.ij’ up with another fib ; “but thii afternoon It’s been my turn to mix the ink !” HTG ONK TALENT. As the shabbily dressed man w*i lounging along, »ag r -rly "canning tin advertisement sheets posted outsid* the vnr’ous newspaper offices, s triend met him. “Haile, Jim !” he said. “Whafc’f the ? Out of a job ?” ‘Yes,’’ replied the lounger frankly. “The guv’nt'r said he was losing money on the things I was making. “And wasn’t there anything els< you could do about the place ?’’ The lounger shook hia head, “Don’t think so,’’ ha said—"ai least, he told me I didn’t seem abb to do anything “Why, what were you making V asked the friend, in surprise. “Mistaken !” said the workless om dospondingly. • QUANTITY-NOT QUALITY. Two suitors bad striven for thi hand of Mary Murphy, One was Doo lan, a prosperous grocer, and he wai backed up by Pa and Ma Murphy i the other was a handsome youni dork, and be was backed up by Mary The clerk won !

On the morning of her first birth day after the wedding-day Mary called to see her parents, and proudly showed them a pretty little gold watch which her husband had gives her.

But Mrs. Murphy sniffed contempt nouely.

“That’s very nice, v she raid dia approvingly ; but if ye’d only takei the advice of yer father and me, 'til not a gold watch ye’d be havia ii yer pocket, but ft good eight-dai clock !”

METHOD IN DNEoS

Alter having her blood curdled bvl ly by a thrilling story. Mrs. Ku- lon waa angry to find that it is an advertisement for somebody’) tooth-powder.

With a pout, she threw the paper containing the deception acroaa the r-^m.

‘ What’s the mat'er, dearie ?" asked her bubby.

Mrs Kurious told him her trouble, snd wound up wutb the remark :

“Now, Jeremiah, J know why tft* Chines® people begin reading at tea end instead of the beginning. Their intelligence is greater than outs." AN EASY CATCH. With pst«ctic tears oo her baby cheeks, * little Ethel ran up to the big policeman. “Please, hir.” °he sobbed, “will you come and lock a bad man up ? “What’s h** berr do i.r ?■’ asked the man in bins gently. “Oh, boo-ho« ! ” wailed Ethel. ‘Ke’e broken up my hoop with his nas + y bicycle !” “Has he ?” replied the policeman angrily, as he saw her t»ars flow afresh. “Well, where is he?" “Oh, you’ll easily catch him !’’ said Ethel earnestly. “They’ve just carried him into that chemist’o 1 shop on a gate !”

The necklaces worn by the native women of the Congo are large mefol collars, weighing as much as thirty pounds-