Laconic Letters.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 29, Issue 39, 22 May 1917, Page 2

Laconic Letters.

If "Brevity is the soul of wit,” Bishop Stubbs of Oxford must have written some of the wittiest letters extant. On one accasion a vicar wrote to him asking permission to place some curtains behind the Holy Table in his church. The Bishop replied, stating his views oh the subject. The vicar, however, thought this was not sufficient, and wrote another lengthy epistle, giving fuller details of his intentions, in reply to which the bishop wrote : "Dear ,—Hang your curtains. Yours truly.” Another laconic letter from the pen of Bishop Stubbs, and referred to in his Life, was in reply to a clergyman who asked leave to visit the Holy Land, and said : "My dear , —Go to Jericho. Yours truly.” Which reminds one of the story of the man who was bitterly insulted because, in reply to a business proposition, another man had told him to go to a certain place where the climate is warn). He wrote an angry reply letter demanding an apology, and received the mild reply : "Dear Jones, —You needn’t go. Yours truly.” The story goes that Lord Lovat, famous as the commander of the Lovat Scouts, once received a very amusing telegram from a subordinate who was injured in a railway accident while on furlough.

‘‘Will not report to-day as expected on account of unavoidable circumstances,” wired the sub. ‘‘Report as ordered, or give reasons,” was the reply of Lord Lovat. By return a wire came from a' certain hospital ; ‘‘Train off—can’t ride ; leg off can t walk. Will not report unless you insist.”