Billeting Humours.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 29, Issue 36, 11 May 1917, Page 2

Billeting Humours.

SANATORIUM FOR WHOOPING COUGH PATIENTS. Foolish people who are inclined to place obstacles in the way of officers who call to billet soldiers upon them would profit by reading the billeting stories told by Mr. Patrick Macgill in the “Amateur Army.” The stories are not without their humorous aspect "On one occasion an officer asked a citizen, an elderly man full of English dignity, how many soldiers could he keep in his house. ‘Well, it’s like this -.’ the man began.

" ‘Have you any room to spare here ?’ demanded the officer. “ ‘None, except on the mat,’ was the caustic answer.

“ ‘Two on the mat, then.’ snapped the officer, and a pair of tittering Tommies were left at the door. “Sadder than this, even, was the plight of the lady and gentleman at St Albans who told the officer that their four children were just recovering from an attack of whooping cough. The officer, being a wise man and anxious about the welfare of those under his care, fled precipitately. Later he learned that there had been no whooping cough in the house; in fact, the people who caused him to beat such a hasty retreat were childless. He felt annoyed and discomfited ; but about a week following his first visit he called again at the house, this time followed by six men.

“ ‘These fellows are just recovering from whooping cough,’ he told the householder ; ‘they had it bad. Wo don’t know what to do with them, but seeing that you’ve had whooping cough here, I feel it’s the only place where it will be safe to billet them.’ And he left them there.”