WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 29, Issue 33, 1 May 1917, Page 2

WISE AND OTHERWISE.

' ' after all. . Talk about Yankee shrewdness, said the travelling man, I was ma little tavern in Connecticut not long ago, and a farmer came in with eggs to sell. The transaction took place in the bar-room of the establishment./ The proprietor agreed to take two dozen, and when the farmer came to count over the contents of his basket he found that he had 25 eggs. The proprietor wanted the extra egg thrown in for good measure.

The farmer didn’t see it that way, and they argued the matter. Au last the proprietor said he’d take the 25 eggs, give the man a drink, and call it s luare. The farmer agreed, and pocketed the money. “Now, what’ll you have ?’’ asked the proprietor. The Yankee farmer was ready with his reply ; “Sherry and egg,” said he. WISE DOG ! ■ There was an old lady who rented al furnished villa for the summer, and with the villa also went a large dog. Iu the sitting-room of the villa there was a very comfortable arm-chair. The old' lady liked this chair better than any other in the house. But, alas ! she nearly always found the chair occupied by the large dog. Being afraid of the dog, she never dared bid it harshly bo get out of the chair, as she feared that it might bite her ; but instead, she would go to the window and call “Cats !” Then the dog would rush to the window and hark, and the old lady v/ould slip into the vacant chair, quietly. One day the dog entered the room and found the old lady in possession of the chair. He strolled over to the window and, looking out, appeared very much excited, and set up a tremendous barking. The old lady rose and hastened te the window to see what was the matter. Then the dog quietly climbed into the chair.

SUPERFLUOUS WEALTH. The mean man was going on a holiday, and at the busy London station the cabman had assisted hid fare to carry his various hampers and packages to the departure platform, for which he received twopence over and above the bare fare. He waited until the “twopenny tipper” had ensconced himself in a corner of the comfortably-filled compartment, then; hat in hand, approached the carriage. Holding outl the coppers, he said, with biting sarcasm “It’s very kind of you, Mr. Carnegie, and all of us cabmen are very; grateful; but we don’t need no libraries just now, so I’ve- brought you the money back.” The mean man winced but made no reply. “Oh, very well, Mr. Carnegie,” observed the sleek and ruddy Jehu, “seein*' as 'ow you’re so pet on chuck-* in’ yer wealth about I’ll keep it. I'll/ build no free libraries with it, but in: case such generosity is ketchin’ Illlay it out in brimstone and fumigate the cab.” j KNEW HIS JOB. ' I It was Easter eve in leap year, and' the dear young thing, who had been receiving long but somewhat unsatisfactory visits from the very shy young man, decided she might take a chance. Robert had brought her a splendid Easter lily.

“I’ll give you a kiss for that lily,*” she promised, blushingly. The exchange was duly not to say. happily made. Robert started hurriedly towards the door.

“Why, where are you going ?” asked his girl in surprise. ‘‘To the florist’s for more Easter lilies !” he replied, REASON ENOUGH. ! “I’ve called, Mrs. Jones, to learn why Tommy has not attended Mr class lately,” began the sweet young: Sunday-school teacher, a frown on her pretty face. “Well, Miss Goodlelgh.” answered Mrs. Jones, “the reason why I’ve kept Tommy away from Sundayschool is because the knowledge he received there was' making him a wicked boy.” “A wicked boy !” gasped the amazed teacher. “Really, Mrs. Jones, I cannot imagine to what you refer.’ “Yiou see, it’s this way, Miss Goodleigh,” explained Mrs. Jones, determinedly. “The last time Tommy went to Sunday-school you taught him that people are made of dust. Well, when he came home he nearly frightened me to death by trying to draw his little baby sister into the vacuum-cleaner !”

CASUALTY. A stranger arriving in a small town hailed a passing resident and inquired : ‘‘Can you direct me to a place where they take boarders ?” “Mrs. Brown takes them in,” the man replied. “Is that a pretty good place ?” ‘‘Fair to middling.” ‘‘Have chicken very often for dinner ?” ‘‘Regular and unexpected.” “What do you mean by that ?” “They have chicken regular every Sunday.” “I see."

“And they also have it when a motor car unexpectedly kills one in the road.”